Cucumber Song

Tune: We're Bound for Botany Bay

 

An inventive young lady from The Rhody Hash,
Developed a wonderful trend,
To purchase cucumbers for pleasure,
'Cause she found they were better than men.

CHORUS: 
So line up for your cucumbers, ladies,
They're selling for two bucks apiece,
Your frustrated days are all over,
And you won't have to get down on your knees.

In Asia they're eaten with chilis,
In Britain they're put between bread,
But in Providence we use them as teddies,
'Cause we know that they'll never want head.

They'll never leave stains on the mattress,
They're happy to live in the fridge,
The toilet seat is never left standing,
And I've never seen cucumber kids.

So watch out you mighty Wankers,
You're not quite as great as you think,
There's no guarantee it will rise again,
And we can't trade you in when it shrinks.