The Woonsocket Gambler

The Woonsocket Gambler

Basket Boom Boom

On an early Monday evening, the hash got together
Meeting at the Bernon Heights Elementary School
The sun had left us early, so we all had our torches
The temperature was dropping, getting kind of cool.

Fuwangii was our hare, and that made us all worried.
You could never tell, what he was thinking ‘tween those ears.
So if you don’t mind me sayin’, we weren’t in no hurry.
We all enjoyed one more round of Bondo Beer.

Fuwangii complained, so we drank our last swallow.
Started out of the parking lot, turning on our lights
As we ran down Bernon Street, everyone one was quiet.
We all hoped this wanker hare, finally got it right.

You got to know when to hide, know when to get down.
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You must enjoy your beer as if it’s your last one.
If you’re late to the circle, the beer may be gone.

Now every hasher knows, to keep lights off at the beer stop.
Excepting Bondo, who was flashing out to the street.
Well we first heard one siren, and soon we heard another.
Fuwangii hollered, “run!”, so we all moved our feet.

The cop moved his search light, in the woods where we all hid.
Everyone was quiet, except that barking Ben
And somewhere in the darkness, Bondo had to give up
But first he hollered out, “don’t shoot me, I’m comin’ in.

Well the cop had his pistol, pointed right at Bondo
His hand was shakin’ as he hadn’t yet shot no one.
Bondo held both his hands high above his head light.
“There’s no need for shootin’, I confess what I’ve done.”

You got to know when to hide, know when to get down,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You must enjoy your beer as if it’s your last one.
If you’re late to the circle, the beer may be gone.

The cop put Bondo in handcuffs; his wrists behind his back.
Then shoved him in the back seat, so he would not run away.
One by one the hash came out of their hiding.
The Woonsocket Police had caught them, now they had to pay.

Back-up showed up shortly, and cornered all the wankers.
Asked for their names, birth date and where they were from.
One cop looked at Tinker, and he started laughin’.
You’re as old as my grandfather, how the hell can you run.

Well Basket wasn’t with them, but they saw him with Seamus,
Out on Manville Road, running along the street.
He was the only smart one, ‘cause he refused to give up.
So let those other wankers, go and beat their meat.

Trail Hoover and Oozing, were listening to the Red Sox
The cops didn’t mind that they had their ear phones on.
But Async was worried, he needed his employment,
’cause the way he spends his money, soon it’ll be gone.

Dr WHO and Flounder, they looked kinda puzzled.
They didn’t know what to make of all this fuss.
One minute they were hashing; enjoying a beer,
And now they are busted with Bondo’s in a truss.

Now every Hasher knows Fuwangii can’t be trusted,
To set a trail that won’t put them in jail.
So on Monday night, when he’s next the hare,
Let’s go somewhere else, and run our own trail.