Hash-and-Ride Hash

Run #1038, February 20, 2006

Hare:  Amish It Head

Location:  Exit 6A Park-and-Ride, Coventry

Weather:  Mid 20’s, Clear

Present:  Bondo Jovi, Dr WHO, Great at Giving Head, Basket Boom Boom, Oozing SD, WIPOS, Dry Foot Fairy, Ben, Seamus.

The Run:

Park-and-Rides after dark are popular with male homosexuals, mass murderers, extreme perverts and hashers. Bimbos (except perhaps Shine On) don’t seem to get much out of these runs. Perhaps this is why most of our P&R hashes are stag affairs. The hare, perhaps inspired by the Bunny version of “Brokeback Mountain” ( http://www.starz.com/features/brokebackmountain/) set a run from the Park-and-Ride at exit 6A, not 6. Bondo certainly couldn’t resist. Nor did Basket even think about skipping out. With the hare and G@GH, Dr WHO and Dry Foot, Oozing and WIPOS, it was four happy couples who set off into the woods that night.

Trail started off crossing southeast under 95 on Hopkins Hill Road. A quick check turned them east into some woods for a brief bushwhack. The marks were weak: little flour, and very sparse. They all kept together as they came onto a trail that looped back down to Division Street, and turned southwest. Marks on the road were followed back to Hopkins Hill Road. The hare tried to restore order as confusion became rampant. WHO and G@GH went south on Hopkins Hill. The rest continued on Division until called back by the hare, and directed into the Sand-and-Gravel Pit south of the road.

Having thought that the marks were poor before, they discovered that they had had it pretty good. The marks were now completely invisible. Bondo and Basket pressed on. WHO and G@GH had turned back, and entered the pits to come upon the hare who was pleading with WIPOS to notice one of his flour blobs. He led them back to the road, where they were joined by Oozing and Dry Foot. They crossed back into the woods, heading east on trails. Where were Basket and Bondo? No one knew. Or cared!

Dry Foot now led, east and north, for a reasonably enjoyable stretch (although Shiggy-free!) A few checks, a little bushwhack here and there, and of course, no Basket or Bondo. Trail led north across Division, into a field, where a cooler was found, hidden in the middle of the path. WHO’s not complaining! Beer was opened, and some songs were sung. For reasons that even he cannot explain, Dr WHO decided to let loose with a few blasts from his whistle, before the beer was even finished. How dumb can you get! Bondo and Basket, sated from whatever disgusting activity had passed between them alone in the woods, heard the sound, and emerged from the brush.

It happened that the hare intended for this to be both BC and Circle. (Cheap Bastard!) So bowing to the inevitable, the circle was called to order. Ratings for the run: fair weather, not enough snow, no shiggy, BC and Circle together, no bimbos, and the reappearance of Basket and Bondo: -69! Hashit obviously went to WHO for reckless misbehavior at the BC.

The hare loaded them up in his previously concealed vehicle and drove the group back to the cars. They tried for the On On On at Marks (exit 6, not 6A) but there was remodeling going on (or was there?). They were forced to turn to the former West Greenwich Inn, now the Big River Inn, for sustenance. Not bad, although they might want to rename it the Big River Arms, after the muscular waitress that served them. But at least there was a slight exposure to estrogen this night. God knows, we need it!

On On