Bowling for Beer Hash

Run #1062, August 7, 2006

Hare:  Amish It Head

Location:  Portsmouth Middle School

Weather:  Low 80’s, Clear

Present:  Tinker, Dr WHO, Great @ Giving Head, Basket Boom Boom, Eenie Weenie Dickie, Just Travis(Justin), Bondo Jovi, WIPOS, Oozing SD, Fuwangi Boner, Dry Foot Fairy, Ben. Visitors: Sparky the Hobosexual, Tastes Like Chicken (Newport H3 and Bowling League).

The Run:

An invasion into the territory of the (temporarily?) defunct Newport Bowling Hash was arranged by the hare for this Monday. Naturally, as the hashers arrived, a bowling ball was produced and was used as a parking lot missile to try and crack the axle of the Bondo-mobile. But the RIH3 has yet to produce a competent bowler. So Bondo made it into the lot unscathed. No prelube being offered, they were off promptly at 6:30, with only Sparkyand TLC present to misrepresent Newport hashing.

From the back of the parking lot, trail led west through an abandoned Ball field to 114. They crossed and headed down into a construction area. Basket and Tinker, as usual, wandered off each in his own direction. The rest were led by WHO circling south. WHO turned left at a check (wrong), and Just Travis found true trail right (right), northwest on a small powerline. He led out to an old monastery or abandoned church or something. WHO and EWD caught up, and with Just Travis were briefly confused. They finally re-oriented (sexually?) and continued northwest on trail. A hole in a fence was found (they re-oriented, again) and trail was followed through a very brief, very light patch of shiggy out onto Defense Highway. True trail was found by WHO, northeast on the road.

They found a check opposite the Navy Recreation Area from whence EB RIPTA had set a few winters ago. And WHO knew whence to go from here! He turned east to find the beer a short distance in the woods off an abandoned road. Naturally, he turned back calling false trail. Most did not stray far, not trusting the bad Doctor. At least Basket wandered off onto Federal property where he broke local laws, federal laws and the laws of nature. The hare arrived, and with WHO took the beer out of sight from the road. Unfortunately, even Basket cannot be fooled forever. Other stragglers included WIPOS, flummoxed by the necessity of getting his pole through the hole in the fence, and Fuwangi with TLC, who had other things on their minds. Very small things, it might be guessed. At any rate, the BC had just enough beer to encourage a moderately long Rhubarb song.

Beer mostly gone, they resumed. Trail led southeast on the progressively more overgrown road. A check sent Bondo/and Oozing right, while WHO and EWD turned left into woods. The true trail was in between. But WHO managed to pick up the trail as it curved slightly north, and followed it to a barbed wire fence. Flour led up the trunk of a tree that had fallen across the fence. WHO would be stupid enough to actually cross at this point? WHO and WIPOS, that’s WHO! Basket led the rest around the fence, and the group rejoined in the elm-lined driveway of an apartment complex. They met late arrival Dry Foot. Trail led west up to 114, and was followed with little difficulty south to Union St, and then right on Jepson to the School.

Tinker heard the commotion of their arrival and returned from the ball fields. They prepared to circle. Only to find that the hare’s beer was gone! Stolen! Lost! Hashit! The distraught hare drove back to the BC to get what was left, and to make a quick stop to get some warm IPA for the circle. Finally, they circled and rated the run. Ratings: pavement, stolen beer, no shiggy, vs virgin territory, large turn out. Total: 0. Hashit was charitably and inexplicably given to TLC and Sparky for being Newporters. The On On On was held at the Coddington Brewery. Good beer, and OK food was had, under the disapproving eyes of a humorless young waitress, and her management staff. But even a few songs, some birthday greetings for another table, and an “Alouette” (all after the food was delivered, of course) could not get the group thrown out without paying. So it was an expensive evening, altogether. Especially for the hare.

On On