Run #1067 9-11 Hash: In Tribute to American Airlines Flight 11

9-11 Hash: In Tribute to American Airlines Flight 11

Run #1067, September 11, 2006

Hare: WIPOS

Location: Beach Pond, Exeter, RI

Weather: 60’s, clear

Present: Amish, Basket, Bondo, Dry Foot Fairy, E.W.D., G@GH, Virgin Kana, Oozing, Tinker, Ben, and Seamus.

Prelube:

American Airlines Flight 11 was the first flight used in the September 11, 2001 attacks. It was an American Airlines flight aboard a Boeing 767-223ER aircraft, registration number N334AA. Flight 11 regularly flew from Logan International Airport in East Boston, Massachusetts, to Los Angeles International Airport. On September 11, 2001, the aircraft on this route was hijacked; the hijackers crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City. On the fifth anniversary September 11, 2006, the hare wanted to commemorate and recreate this historic event on the 9/11 hash.

There are believed to have been five (hash)jackers:

* Mohamed Oozing Atta al Sayed (Egyptian) - the ringleader and pilot, was in seat 69D.
* Waleed Bondo al-Shehri (Saudi Arabian) - sat in seat 69B
* Wail Basket al-Shehri (Saudi Arabian) - sat next to Waleed, in seat 69A
* Abdulaziz Amish al-Omari (Saudi Arabian) - had earlier flown with Atta to Logan Airport from Portland, Maine
* Satam Tinker al-Suqami (Saudi Arabian) - had paid in cash that day, sat in seat 69F

The innocent (hash)victims:

* Flight attendants Madeline Virgin Kana Sweeney and Betty Great at Giving Head Ong
* A passenger, Daniel Dry Foot Lewin, a notable Internet entrepreneur, had also previously served as an officer in the elite Sayeret Matkal unit of the Israeli military. A 2002 FAA memo referenced Dry Foot Lewin as possibly being killed by Satam Tinker al-Suqami after he attempted to stop the (hash)jacking.
* John WIPOS Ogonowski (Pilot, aka Hare) and Thomas F. Eenie Weenie Dick McGuinness Jr. (First Officer and secret admirer of the Hare’s fashion sense, or lack thereof).
* Seamus (sedated and stowed away in cargo) and Ben (who managed to escape cargo, whine and run impatiently up and down the isles to further annoy Mohamed Oozing Atta al Sayed, thus ensuring that he would in fact kill himself and put everyone else out of their own misery, for no other good reason than to escape Ben – there IS an Allah after all… I digress).

The Run:

With everyone secure in their respective roles, they gathered at a dirt parking lot on the south side of Beach Pond. Many oogled over Madeline Virgin Kana Sweeney, after a summer of the All Man’s Hash. Despite that minor (major) distraction, trail initially headed south east after the last minute arrival of the pilot (hare) John WIPOS Ogonowski to point the way. He should have bailed then and there, but it’s all history now. Just as Flight 11 headed in its prescribed flight path, it wasn’t long before Mohamed Oozing Atta al Sayed and Waleed Bondo al-Shehri hijacked the hash, forcing the pack southward. Wail Basket al-Shehri initially objected, complaining that the 77 virgins (and beer) awaiting each of them were in fact north. Typically, Wail Basket al-Shehri was wrong, in this case, especially about the 77 virgins.

Being a first time flight attendant and hasher, Madeline Virgin Kana Sweeney was confused and discombobulated. Betty Great at Giving Head Ong tried to comfort her, yet was equally confused and discombobulated. First officer Thomas F. Eenie Weenie Dick McGuinness Jr. is always confused and discombobulated, thus providing no assistance what-so-ever. Pathetic!

Trail soon ran into rocks and a check (somewhere over West Virginia), which distracted Daniel Dry Foot Lewin and Wail Basket al-Shehri. Abdulaziz Amish al-Omari headed north to no avail. Betty Great at Giving Head Ong went south to no avail. Thomas F. Eenie Weenie Dick McGuinness Jr. went westward to no avail. Satam Tinker al-Suqami stood at the check and waited to no avail. Waleed Bondo al-Shehri stood atop the rocks, bringing the pack to him, but to no avail. The hare was nowhere to be seen, to no avail. This write-up has been making no sense, to no avail. I digress, to no avail.

Mohamed Oozing Atta al Sayed finally found true trail heading southward through some contrived Shenandoah shiggy. They all wallowed together for a while until they reconnected with a well-traveled path turning northward (unsuspectingly toward New York). Reaching a check, all were fooled except for Wail Basket al-Shehri and Daniel Dry Foot Lewin who went straight, missing the pathetic token shiggy. With Wail Basket al-Shehri chasing him down with a box cutter in his hand, Daniel Dry Foot Lewin outran the entire pack, reaching Rt. 165 and crossing it. He soon came to a “BN” at about the proximity of the Twin Towers, but blew right past it. Something about Wail Basket al-Shehri on his tail made him run like Forest Gump (and it wasn’t the box cutter).

Wail Basket al-Shehri was the first to reach and STOP at the beer check, but he could not locate the beer. It took the fearless leader Mohamed Oozing Atta al Sayed to set out a proper search party. Nevertheless, only John WIPOS Ogonowski could find the beer. Strangely, he showed up with Satam Tinker al-Suqami as though they were best friends and proving to the world that we can all actually “get along”. I digress, again, to no avail.

Beer was enjoyed by all except for Daniel Dry Foot Lewin who was not missed. And WHO was also not missed. The fact that Daniel Dry Foot Lewin had Ben with him made the hashers unusually quiet when they typically would call fellow hashers to the BC. Upon departing the BC, the pack soon reached the parched and weakened Daniel Dry Foot Lewin heading toward them. Only Abdulaziz Amish al-Omari took solace for the quenched (Oriental) Jew and offered him the rest of his beer. If only the UN were there to witness this, the solution for Middle East peace might actually be found -- it’s called BEER! DUH!

Nevertheless, the pack ran back to Beach Pond to the start which was in the vicinity of Boston Logan Airport. Following John WIPOS Ogonowski, Satam Tinker al-Suqami and Daniel Dry Foot Lewin took an alternate route along 165 back to the start. After some confusion, the circle occurred somewhere in Boston Harbor (South Beach Pond). Ratings were weak for originality, but strong for virginity, a virgin bimbo no less(!), no WHO, and a lost Daniel Dry Foot Lewin. Total: +6.9! Hashit went to Betty Great at Giving Head Ong for his continued attempts to ruin the all too successful All Man’s Hash.

On-after was at the Big River Inn where the cute blonde didn’t take any solace on any of us 9/11 re-enactors (it must have been Mohamed Oozing Atta al Sayed). In fact, what should have been a historic moment commemorating the 5th anniversary of 9/11, turned out to be yet another pathetic waste of a Monday evening.

On On

Dry Foot Fairy