Lumberjack-off Hash

Run #1072, October 16, 2006

Hare:  Fuwangi Boner

Co-Hare:  Basket Boom Boom

Location:  Douglas Lumber at Rt 7 and Twin River Road, Smithfield, RI

Weather:  Low 50’s, Clear

Present:  Dry Foot Fairy, Great @Giving Head, Candy Caner, Dr WHO, Amish It Head, Eenie Weenie Dick, Oozing SD, WIPOS, Bondo, Ben and GM Seamus. Virgins: Just Karen and Just Cathy.

 

The Run:

This is the short version. There is no long version. There was no prelube. At the start, there was no hare. Basket was a coy co-hare. There were two cute virgins. One of them had a friend who runs with the NY/Westchester hashes. Basket got annoying. He talked about Ian Cummings for the whole run. Bet the virgins will be back next week!

Trail entered the woods at the north side of the lumberyard. It went northeast. It was a prolonged bushwhack with a few checks. The pack stayed together. This was mostly to shadow the two cute virgins. But Basket’s stories eventually drove most away. The trail led to some rough-cut, overgrown lumber trails. Trail crossed some small streams, branches of the West River. Dry Foot, EWD and Amish led. They took a wrong turn. They came back. They rejoined WHO , Oozing, Candy Caner and the two cute virgins. They also found a confused Basket. Bondo and WIPOS were no where to be seen. But it took the co-hare so long to figure out which way to go, that they caught up. That’s a very long time!

They continued north. They crossed a powerline. They bushwhacked. They followed a stone wall with barbed wire. Oozing didn’t trip. They crossed some fields. They came out on Whipple Rd. The hare showed up. There was no rejoicing at this turn of events. They turned east. They turned onto Angell Rd south. There were no marks. The hare and co-hare led right into a development. There were still no marks. There was an awful lot of pavement. They curved left. They turned right. They turned right again. They came to a cul-de-sac under construction. There was beer. Even Bondo made it. Pathetic.

The two cute virgins had some beer. The beer was an unimpressive mix of old bottled beers. They positioned themselves as far away from Bondo and Basket as possible. WIPOS began to hit on them. Bet they’ll be back next week! Rhubarb commenced. Bondo peed in the circle. Another typical beer check.

On out, G@GH and Candy Caner took off onto the roads. They went backwards to Whipple. So they said! The rest of the pack ran back into the woods. They curved south. They came out on Linfield. They came back to Angell. They turned right on Twin Rivers. They completed the clockwise loop back to the cars. The two cute virgins complained about run length. They show real promise. Bet they’ll be back next week! They worried about G@GH and Candy Caner. The rest worried about Candy Caner. The police arrived. The sight of a half-naked Bondo sent them on their way.

The circle began. Bondo peed. Ratings began and were interrupted by the arrival of G@GH and Candy Caner. The presence of two cute virgins, and the virgin territory could not outweigh the lack of marks, the lack of shiggy, the prolonged pavement and the lack of arrests. Total: -6.9. Hashit went to Oozing (false accusations). The two cute virgins were brought into the circle. They got none of the questions right. They didn’t sing. They didn’t show their rings. They did tell a joke about muffins. Bondo peed on Oozing. Bet they’ll be back next week!

On On On was held at Stuffies on Mineral Spring Ave. The two cute virgins attended. They hadn’t heard the one about picking someone up at the airport. And that’s all there is to say.

On On