Hash with No Name (Again, Again)

Run #1076b, November 13, 2006

Hare:  Justin My Ass

Location:  Box Seats, Smithfield

Weather:  40’s, Light Rain

Present:  Dr WHO, Eenie Weenie Dick, Amish It Head, Basket Boom Boom, Bondo Jovi, WIPOS, Oozing SD, Seamus, Ben.

The Run:

Basket.

In keeping with the theme of inexperienced hares making the hash suffer through miles of pavement, this week’s hare more than lived up to the bargain. Starting from Box Seats in Smithfield, there wasn’t a lot he could do, perhaps. But note to hares: it is better to reuse some woods, than to set an asphalt marathon. At any rate, the hash set off promptly at the appointed hour. Surprisingly, trail was picked up on the path along the reservoir, heading west then north.

The reservoir path was pleasant. Frequent swampy areas and a little bushwhacking made for some enjoyment for those on trail, led by Amish and EWD. Basket , Bondo and WIPOS stuck to an inner path. Bondo promptly got lost. The trail made the most of the shiggy before coming out to the first Beer Check, at a loading dock between two warehouses. Been there, done that. But at least Basket, Bondo and WIPOS were missing. Basket arrived. So much for that positive mark.

Onwards they went, beginning the long and arduous trek on the macadam. North on Farnum Pike, northeast and uphill on Brayton Road, east on Rogler Farm Road; it’s almost to painful to revisit in memory. They turned right on Rt 7. Trail would have to lead into Bryant College. It didn’t. Basket went in, anyways. The rest stuck with the hare. Bondo and WIPOS were still missing. There were certainly no marks to follow, that’s for sure. Passing Parente’s, the group knew that the hare must have chosen the powerlines, as the only alternative would have been to stay on pavement and take 116 back. This would have resulted in certain death for the hare. So they turned in, and picked up the marks a few yards in on the powerlines.

These powerlines are possibly the most overused powerlines in RI. Every dip, every rise, every puddle and every briar is well-known to any hasher that has run with the RIH3 for more than a few months. The hare, carrying the beer from the first check, called an impromptu BC #2. What imagination! But at least this time they were left alone by Basket, wandering somewhere on Bryant’s campus. So after lightening the load a bit more, they continued south, and came out at 116. They turned right. They ran the pavement back to Rt 5. They turned right. They ran the pavement back to Box Seats. Bondo was waiting for them.

The circle was short but not sweet. The run was rated. Lack of virgin territory, lack of shiggy, sustained pavement and lack of bimbo’s could not be made up for by two beer checks, loss of Bondo (and Basket), and incompetent markings. Total: -6.9. Hashit: the choice was clearly between Basket and Bondo, and Bondo won (lost)! On On On was rapidly moved to Effin’s once the owner of Box Seats came out to investigate the crew. And from Effin’s, a groundswell of sentiment forced the migration to Parente’s in search of the tight-pants waitresses. They were missing. But Oozing, Eenie Weenie and JIMA still managed to move in on some bimbos at the bar. The less said about that, the better.

On On