The Last Blast of Winter Hash

Run #1094, March 19, 2007

Hare:  Basket

Location:  Cumberland, RI

Weather:  30s, snowy

Present:  Amish, Oozing, Dr. WHO, Seamus

The Run:

After a fun-filled weekend including trips on Saturday to Newport for the St Patty’s day parade (which was amazing – half nekkid bimbos, beer flowing like water from every porch, explosions, bands, floats – right Oozing?) and on Sunday to Boston for the Ras na hEireann r*n and following parade and partying WHO could have imagined that a hash would be set the following Monday? Actually, WHO couldn’t and neither could Amish or Oozing , but they showed up anyway in attempts to drink just a few beers to allow their livers to wean off the alcohol instead of stopping cold turkey. Directions had us meet at St Patrick’s church in Cumberland, and as 6:00 rolled around so did the snow storm with the less than 1in prediction from the weathermen soon to be proven false.

Trail led northwest out of the parking lot with the first check located at Broad and Church. Amish went right, towards the train tracks and WHO soon followed. Oozing, putting forth as much effort as a losing Pakistani cricket team, decided to walk with the hare, down Broad, and take a left onto John. A quick “on on” had Amish and WHO turning back to join the rest. Check number two was encountered at the merger of John and Chambers where trail was determined to head under the bridge. By this time the snow had been falling steadily for a half hour and the marks were becoming increasingly hard to see.

A check below the bridge had us heading north along the side of the swollen………….river………..and through the new powder snow. Another check was encountered, but with choices of uphill to nowhere or continuation on trail the decision was easy. WHO lead the way with Amish close behind, once again Oozing, putting forth as much effort as a losing Pakistani cricket team, decided to walk with the hare.

As the trail and river made a turn west a tunnel was found, and thought to be the whiskey check, but the hare pushed the group ahead, up and out across the train tracks into the Ann and Hope parking lot. With the snow coming down heavily, the hare re-laid an arrow leading the pack northwest along the tracks to Ann and Hope Way. A check was found, Amish went straight and WHO went left. Oozing , once again putting forth as much effort as a losing Pakistani cricket team, had fallen behind but close enough to see the pack. True trail was determined to head across Mendon Rd and behind the Stop and Shop parking lot with a quick jaunt through some “shiggy” onto the bike path. With marks now almost non existent due to the snow, the hare recommended that paw prints be followed. Bending over to uncover marks, WHO and Amish made their way up the bike path and to the bridge overlooking the Blackstone River for the whiskey check.

As Basket, WHO and Amish waited, the roar of the Blackstone could be heard below. Oozing finally showed up, and after a few passes of the flask in the snow our break quickly ended. A check at the bridge had us hopping over a chain-link fence and into private waste dumping land, which seemed fitting based on the smells emanating from the assholes of the group one day earlier. A veer to the left along the river and a few marks later had everyone on the train tracks, where once again it was advised that dog paw prints be used as trail markings. WHO went out front with Amish and Basket right behind, and they continued along the freshly powdered tracks into the dark.

Bending over to uncover marks, WHO and Amish swapped places now and again until a final check was found at the intersection of a path leading west into the woods. With Basket calling from behind “do you see the light,” Amish pushed on until yes – he did see the light. The light of a fire left behind by someone other than Basket . Disappointed at the lack of use of a great beer check location, the three continued on left, farther into the woods and away from the tracks. Once again, Oozing, putting forth as much effort as a losing Pakistani cricket team, trailed far behind. Coming up on the backside of a large building, WHO and Amish knew the beer was near. As we entered a parking lot Basket’s Jeep could be seen, and soon enough we were enjoying a mix of Trinity Stout and IPA. Eventually Oozing showed up and the three sang a few songs before piling into the car for the ride back to St Patrick’s. With the snow still continuing heavily, it was decided we’d get to the on on on before the circle was held.

Due to our more recent trips to The Lodge, Oozing pushed for eating at Tuck’s, a decision we’d all later regret. Arriving in the lot, we all headed to the rear corner where the circle was held. Oozing bitched about Basket taking over for Hoover and bitched about Basket using sections that reminded him of Fuwangi’s hash and….well, bitched about anything he could think of. Amish couldn’t have been happier about the fresh snow and gave the run glowing remarks. WHO talked about how his hash the following week would remedy the recent lack of marks and how it’d be hash of the year. Mathematical total: -6.9! Oozing ended up with the hashit due to complete lack of effort, similar to the losing Pakistani cricket team. After things were wrapped up everyone headed into Tuck’s.

The free soup was good and upon questioning the waitress stated it was “turkey and something.” We all agreed the “something” made it taste the best. Upon reading the specials Basket went for the corner beef on rye, and Oozing the corner beef pot pie. Once the food arrived, both learned the valuable lesson of never ordering meat products that were most likely leftovers from the previous weekend. The pot pie was almost identical to the soup, minus the addition of two rock-hard biscuits on top. And the corned beef sandwich could have been easily mistaken for beef jerky. All in all it was pretty darned bad, but at least Seamus would get something out of it.

And just as they showed up amongst the falling snow, they left amongst the falling snow, hoping it’d be the last blast of winter.

On On

Amish It Head