Fog Hash in Smithfield

Run #1130, Nov 26, 2007

Hare:  Concrete Feet

Location:  Autumn Run/Wolf Hill, Smithfield

Weather:  30’s, drizzle and fog.

Present:  WHO, Amish It Head, Basket Boom Boom, Fuwangi Boner, WIPOS.

The Run:

Concrete Feet returned to haring after many years of avoiding the task (and the hash, in general). Nevertheless, even with years of not setting a trail, he proved himself more than up to the task. The trail he set might rank with the top five trails of all time! (Of course, we’ll never know since no one, including the hare, actually ran his trail that night. I, as always, digress.) But to be fair, it was cold. It was wet. There was a dense fog. Almost no one showed up. With this kind of luck, anyone can set a memorable trail. A few minutes after 6:30, the few dumb enough to show up were off.

Trail went briefly on the road away from the police station (a good thing!). The hare pointed out a left turn, up the hill at a bare patch. The group was briefly together as they bushwhacked east, and then came to one of the Boy Scout trails in the area. Basket led east, with Amish following (how quickly they forget Rule #1: NEVER FOLLOW BASKET!). WHO and Fuwangi turned more south. They were convinced that the beer check would be at the waterfall in the Wolf Hill Quarry, but not seeing any marks, they stuck more or less with the hare. Even when it became clear that the hare was lost. (Proposal for Rule #2: NEVER FOLLOW CONCRETE FEET!)

Amish and Basket had made it to the powerlines. The fog was even more dense. They turned briefly north. No marks! They met latecummer WIPOS. They turned south hoping to lose him. Meanwhile WHO and Fuwangi had reached the powerlines with the hare. At this point, they turned to the hare for guidance. He recommended the southerly route, and suggested that there was trail on the other side of the powerlines which should lead to the beer. There was in fact trail on the other side of the powerlines. But it was unmarked. And the nearest beer in this direction was probably in the “Applebys” on Rt 44.

The hare stated that the BC was near a transformer station. WHO and Fuwangi both knew of the station near Mountaindale Rd. so off they went. No beer was found. They questioned the hare more closely. He said that the beer had been stashed near a transformer station that he had reached by walking on a trail parallel to the powerlines, with the powerlines on his RIGHT. And further, his trail had NEVER crossed the powerlines. Using navigational, geometric and logical skills honed to a fine edge by years of getting hopelessly lost, WHO pointed out that this meant the beer lay NORTH, not south as they had been travelling for the better part of the last hour. Feeling that Basket had likely found the beer by now, and not wishing to listen to him crow in triumph, they decided to head back to the cars. They turned west on Mountaindale Road, and re-entered the woods near the quarry.

But Basket, true to form, had not found the beer. He and Amish and WIPOS wandered around aimlessly on the powerlines, and then headed down by the quarry. They just missed the hare being led by Fuwangi and WHO along the reservoir path back north to the cars. Finally all together they moved into the woods within a rhubarb’s throw of the police station, and circled up.

The run was rated. Beer Checks have been missed before. Beer has been stolen, or too-well hidden etc. But never in history has a hare become so totally lost that he started searching for his own beer check almost TWO MILES from where he had left it! Colossal! Stupendous! That plus fine fog, minimal (intentional) pavement, and no Bondo was enough to ensure a fine rating: +6.9! Hashit was given to Amish for persistently and willfully following Basket. Finishing up, and slightly disappointed in the level of vigilance exhibited by the Smithfield Police, they drove off to Effin’s for the On On On. This event was marked by a sober, subdued and quiet presence most unlike the RIH3 at its usual level of maturity. Maybe we should skip the Beer Check more often. Or, NOT!

On On