Rabbie Burns 2008 Hash

Run #1139, Jan 28 2008

Hare:  Oozing Syphilitic Dicktaphone

Location: : Ivy Tavern, East Side of Providence

Weather:  Clear, 1” new snow, High 20’s .

Present:: Tinker, Short Shorts, Dr WHO, Amish It Head, Fuwangi Boner, Donkey Punch, Pubic Housing, Scatwoman, Let’s F*cken Eat, Mr Rogers, Just Anna. Late: Basket Boom Boom, Really Late!: WIPOS. Visitor: Bunnie (Some Down Under H3).

 The Run:

For the traditional Burn’s event, many wore kilts (WHO, Amish, Fuwangi, Basket, and the hare). But many didn’t (for Donkey, Pubic, Scatwoman and LFE, possibly ignorance could be an excuse. But Tinker and WIPOS ? For shame!). The run was on the East Side, hared by Oozing. As such, it was pathetic, and pavement-filled. At least there were both Scotch and beer stops. But then, again…

Starting from the Ivy Tavern, the trail left all Hope behind (ha, ha!) and went down 3rd St to Lorimer. Without much challenge, trail was followed down towards the river and Blackstone Blvd. The only impetus to run was to get going before Basket showed up, as he’d been running late, and was reportedly on his way. Trail briefly touched on the Boulevard, and as expected, jumped the wall into Swan Point Cemetery. Many had not bothered with flashlights (they know WHO they were!), and ended up stumbling along behind LFE and Amish as they led through the cemetery. They ran past the Lippitt family vaults and down to an overgrown path along the river. There was actually some shiggy. Some actually managed to slip on the steep, leave-covered slopes. There were some branch-to-the-face events. But these good times were not to last.

Trail led back up to the north end of the cemetery. It was pretty obvious that it would lead to the north entrance by Alfred Stone Road. And in fact, this is where the Whiskey Check was found. The group gathered and passed around the bottle. Just as the songs were about to get going, they saw lights. The Police! Running and hiding have not served us well in the past. But discretion is not without merits. Most moved out of the cemetery property (only a few yards away), and declined to run further. And then, they spotted a second light! The two lights converged! What was going on!!

I’ll leave the details to your imagination. Suffice it to say, the Cemetery Security Patrol had caught up with Basket Boom Boom, in kilt and tam. For reasons only known to God and Basket’s conscience, they let him go and he joined the group. I’m not making any accusations, but there ARE a lot of gay men roaming the East Side at night. And Basket wears nothing ‘neath his kilt. That’s all I’m saying!

With his arrival, the joy of course left the run. Most tried to flee on Alfred Stone. But the hare pleaded that they follow trail. WHO and Basket gave in and continued in the woods back west to Blackstone, leading the group through the last little bit of contrived shiggy. Trail crossed Lippitt Park (leading to some interesting sightings of men in kilts on see-saws). Hope Street was followed south to about 4th, and they turned west heading for Summit and Camp Street. Somewhere just at the edge of the worst neighborhood on the East Side, they finally found the Beer Check, at Just Anna’s brother’s house. They had a beer check, had a few songs, and then, the crowning injustice, the hare declared it time to circle up. Pathetic!

There was an appreciative audience of small children, supervised by Just Anna (looking much like a small child herself in her cuddly little PJs). This may have contributed to the brevity and cavity of the circle. The run was rated. Some consideration was given the hare for routing the run on streets as kilts are meant to be seen. But the pavement, the lack of Basket’s arrest, the combination BC/Circle and the contrived shiggy could only mean one thing: -0! Hashit? To Basket, of course, for not getting arrested.

 The circle was closed, and they returned up the hill to the Ivy Tavern. The group could not sit in one spot in this hole-in-the-wall, so they broke up into several tables, distributing the annoying smells and behavior evenly throughout the establishment. Basket brought out the haggis. All were served as much as they could want, and WIPOS showed up just in time to have his share. Surprisingly, most of the non-hashers in the place started asking for their checks. Another fine evening wasted.

On On

 



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