Pound Hill Hash

Run #1145, March 10, 2008

Hare:  Basket Boom Boom

Location:  Industrial Park. Pound Hill Road, North Smithfield

Weather:  High 30’s, Clear

Present:  Dr W.H.O., Amish It Head, Scatwoman, Justin My Ass, Fuwangi Boner, WIPOS, Oozing SD.  Late: Async, Bondo Jovi.  Visitors: Sloppy Thirds (Guam H3). Virgins: Just Melinda (WIPOS’ sweet and innocent (until now!)daughter.)

The Run:
A large and unruly crowd gathered just off 146 in North Smithfield, despite the fore-knowledge of Basket as hare. Visitors and virgins! And females! What is this hash coming to? After brief instructions (excuses!) by the hare they were off. And almost immediately confused. Trail was finally indicated by the hare, going southwest to Pound Hill Road, and diverging off on a path. Several checks were mastered, mostly by Sloppy Thirds, the visitor, who figured out almost instantly that if she took the path away from Justin My Ass, she would be correct 90% of the time. And all checks led uphill on Woonsocket Hill (a mighty 586 ft in altitude, but the lazy hare couldn't bring himself all the way to the summit or lookout tower. This is the problem these days. Lazy hares. And not enough beer. And poor hygeine. But I digress.)

The rest followed the noises ahead, except for the very slow who were able to follow the hare as he shortcutted through the woods as trail turned west then north. The leaders came out on Pound Hill Rd again. There was more confusion. Asphalt does that to us. After a few false starts, Fuwangi and WHO turned down Taber and re-entered the woods. The pack came together as they came out on Industrial Dr, and turned northwest. WHO tried a shortcut in an attempt to avoid the pavement. He was successful in finding some prime shiggy, but not the trail. 

Trail was found by Fuwangi and JIMA, turning left up a driveway, and then back into the woods. It paralleled the road, and then crossed through a drainage pit to the north side into a tractor trailer parking lot. Flour was scarce yet again. But this was territory familiar from the most recent Xmas hash so Fuwangi and JIMA led Scatwoman and Amish across the RR tracks, down past some half-demolished buildings to a path going east along the river. This path was flooded. Finally, some shiggy. But virtually no marks to indicate that crossing was necessary. There was sufficient hesitation to allow WHO to catch up and lead across, up to the gonads in freezing water. Flour finally resumed and the pack made their way to the 146 bridge to find the BC and... Async! The bastard!

The beer was already open, and the singing began. Nothing inspires the RIH3 like the combination of: a) bimbos, B) virgins, g) virgins that are bimbos, 4) underbridge acoustics and #) no Bondo. (He had arrived, but had been unwilling to follow Async. He had beer in the van. Can you blame him?) Thus, a prolonged songfest began. Finally, the visitor showing signs of ear strain, they packed up and were on out. Trail led parallel to 146, southeast. The lead group of WHO, Scatwoman, Fuwangi and Amish entered the Halloween trail of the (now defunct) Homestead, got distracted by the scary ghosts and things, and ended up bushwhacking through the Homestead grounds (swamps) back to Pound Hill Road. Async led Sloppy, WIPOS, Just Melinda and JIMA on true trail with the hare, avoiding the pavement (and the swamps). At the cars, a dreadful odor soon made it quite clear. Bondo was there.

After a brief convoy, the circle was joined at Basket's house. Ratings for the run: Bimbos, Shiggy, No Bondo at BC vs pavement, no Virgin Territory and Async's annoying shortcut to the BC. Total -0.69. Hashit (through tortuous and incomprehensible reasoning, but with complete justification on moral, intellectual and religious grounds) to: Basket. The food was brought out, and to finish off the evening, Dogmeat demanded pornography. So the prize present from the Xmas hash was unveiled, and they finished off the night with a screening of that 70's classic "Flesh Gordon".

On On