Trespassing Through Cranston West Hash

Run #1161, June 30, 2008

Hare:  WIPOS

Location:  Curran Reservoir, Cranston.

Weather:  Mid 80's, Clear.

Present: Tinker, Let’s F**’n Eat, Dr WHO, Async, Oozing SD, Amish It Head, Basket Boom Boom, Murphy, Heath.

The Run:
The hare set another trail from the John Curran Reservoir in West Cranston. The group gathered with promises of visiting bimbos; naturally, none showed up. Apparently, they have been reading the trash describing WIPOS trails, and showed good judgement. They wouldn't have fitted in with good judgement anyways. So it was the usual all-male group that started off, promptly at six-thirty. Trail started off east along the reservoir dam.

The first check was halfway along the berm. Async continued straight, but WHO found true trail heading south on paths with some light bushwhacking. A check at the powerlines confused WHO enough that the more athletic and more youthful were able to take the lead as trail turned east to the north shore of the lower reservoir. The hare had warned of trespassing, Great Danes and angry property owners, so Async, Oozing and LFE made sure to stay out in front, away from Basket and Amish with their canines. Amish was constrained by his dog who could not see ANY resemblance of the briar-laden underbrush with Lincoln Park racetrack. Basket was trying out his own theories, as usual. Tinker was missing.

The lead pack came east and trail doubled back on itself just at the edge of a backyard. There was in fact, a large and some might say ill-tempered Great Dane that stayed on the edge of the yard snarling. WHO and Oozing tried to find trail, but even the hare lost his own marks at this point. It was tempting to wait for Basket and Murphy to arrive, especially as the homeowner had come out with all the noise. But the hare directed WHO and LFE to make their way out to Laten Knight Road and turn right. Async took to the woods, following the Basket school of thought, if one might exaggerate a bit. Basket finally arrived and had a nice chat, doubtless sharing some tips about ear-tip management for Great Danes, with the irate dog-owner. Tinker was missing.

The lead group found trail across the road, continuing east, and turning north. A dried retention pond was crossed, and then bushwhacking resumed. Somehow, WHO was in the lead again, but he came to another powerline. WHO is confused by powerlines. LFE took the lead as the trail turned west and came along a horse enclosure. This was a lovely, broad field with, as Oozing soon found out to his chagrin, an electric fence. Very soon thereafter Heath and Amish made the same discovery. There was much noise and commotion. Basket heard the sounds and managed to short-cut his way to the field. He was just in time to have a nice chat, doubtless sharing some horse sheath-cleaning pearls-of-wisdom, with the irate stable-owner. Tinker was still missing.

Trail crossed back over Laten Knight Rd, west. After a short jog on trails, the leaders caught up with Async. The wanker had backtracked from the upper pond and was waiting at the BC. But no beer was to be found. Finally, the hare straggled in, carrying the beer. It was decided to take the beer check to a more scenic spot on the rock overlooking the reservoir. The group found the spot, although Basket and Amish decided to give their dogs a swimming lesson closer to the dam at the south end of the pond. Beer was opened and a few songs were sung to the fishermen in canoes. It was a nice evening for a swim, so they did. Tinker was still missing.

Finishing up, they ran back to the cars. It was decided to search briefly for Tinker, as the hash has become a bunch of pansy-assed fairies that can't leave a man to fend for himself. Interfering with the course of natural selection, I say! But WHO saw a distant figure limping up the road, a half-mile south. He drove off to give him a lift. (WHO had a new song with 40 verses, and was obviously willing to accept hashit if necessary.) All together finally, they circled up, in the water at the boat ramp.

Ratings for the run: minmal pavement, but light shiggy; loss of Tinker, but Basket was found; excellent electric fence action, but no full-on electrocutions; and powerlines, powerlines, powerlines. Total: +0.69. LFE was long overdue for a renaming. He was named Wee Balls for reasons so secret that even the scribe doesn't know. But it somehow seems to fit. Hashit was the source of considerable discussion, but no one was willing to brave a new song from Dr WHO, so it went to... Basket, of course! Finishing up, they moved on to the Bishop Hill Tavern, where they don't mind us much as long as they can keep us in the back room. Which is, after all, just as it should be.

On On