Trespassing Through Cranston West Hash
Run #1161,
June 30, 2008
Hare: WIPOS
Location: Curran Reservoir, Cranston.
Weather: Mid 80's, Clear.
Present: Tinker, Let’s
F**’n Eat, Dr WHO, Async, Oozing SD, Amish It Head, Basket Boom Boom, Murphy,
Heath.
The
Run:
The hare set another trail from the John Curran Reservoir in
West Cranston. The group gathered with promises of visiting bimbos; naturally,
none showed up. Apparently, they have been reading the trash describing WIPOS trails, and showed good judgement. They wouldn't have
fitted in with good judgement anyways. So it was the usual all-male group that
started off, promptly at six-thirty. Trail started off east along the reservoir
dam.
The first check was halfway along the berm. Async continued straight, but WHO found true trail heading south on paths with some light
bushwhacking. A check at the powerlines confused WHO
enough that the more athletic and more youthful were able to take the lead as
trail turned east to the north shore of the lower reservoir. The hare had warned
of trespassing, Great Danes and angry property owners, so Async, Oozing and LFE made sure to stay out in front, away from Basket and Amish with their
canines. Amish was constrained by his dog who could
not see ANY resemblance of the briar-laden underbrush with Lincoln Park
racetrack. Basket was trying out his own theories, as
usual. Tinker was missing.
The lead pack came
east and trail doubled back on itself just at the edge of a backyard. There was
in fact, a large and some might say ill-tempered Great Dane that stayed on the
edge of the yard snarling. WHO and Oozing tried to find trail, but even the hare lost his own
marks at this point. It was tempting to wait for Basket and Murphy to arrive,
especially as the homeowner had come out with all the noise. But the hare
directed WHO and LFE to
make their way out to Laten Knight Road and turn right. Async took to the woods, following the Basket school of thought, if one might exaggerate a bit.
Basket finally arrived and had a nice chat,
doubtless sharing some tips about ear-tip management for Great Danes,
with the irate dog-owner. Tinker was
missing.
The lead group found trail across the road, continuing east, and
turning north. A dried retention pond was crossed, and then bushwhacking
resumed. Somehow, WHO was in the lead again, but he
came to another powerline. WHO is confused by
powerlines. LFE took the lead as the trail
turned west and came along a horse enclosure. This was a lovely, broad
field with, as Oozing soon found out to his
chagrin, an electric fence. Very soon thereafter Heath and Amish made the same
discovery. There was much noise and commotion. Basket
heard the sounds and managed to short-cut his way to the field. He was just
in time to have a nice chat, doubtless sharing some horse sheath-cleaning
pearls-of-wisdom, with the irate stable-owner. Tinker
was still missing.
Trail crossed back over Laten Knight Rd, west. After a
short jog on trails, the leaders caught up with Async. The wanker had backtracked from the upper
pond and was waiting at the BC. But no beer was to be found. Finally, the hare
straggled in, carrying the beer. It was decided to take the beer check to a more
scenic spot on the rock overlooking the reservoir. The group found the spot,
although Basket and Amish
decided to give their dogs a swimming lesson closer to the dam at the south
end of the pond. Beer was opened and a few songs were sung to the fishermen in
canoes. It was a nice evening for a swim, so they did. Tinker was still missing.
Finishing up, they
ran back to the cars. It was decided to search briefly for Tinker, as the hash has become a bunch of pansy-assed
fairies that can't leave a man to fend for himself. Interfering with
the course of natural selection, I say! But WHO
saw a distant figure limping up the road, a half-mile south. He drove off
to give him a lift. (WHO had a new song with 40
verses, and was obviously willing to accept hashit if necessary.) All together
finally, they circled up, in the water at the boat ramp.
Ratings for the
run: minmal pavement, but light shiggy; loss of Tinker, but Basket was found;
excellent electric fence action, but no full-on electrocutions; and powerlines,
powerlines, powerlines. Total: +0.69. LFE was long
overdue for a renaming. He was named Wee Balls for
reasons so secret that even the scribe doesn't know. But it somehow seems to
fit. Hashit was the source of considerable discussion, but no one was willing to
brave a new song from Dr WHO, so it went to... Basket, of course! Finishing up, they moved on to the
Bishop Hill Tavern, where they don't mind us much as long as they can keep us in
the back room. Which is, after all, just as it should be.
On On