Dogmeat’s In-Depends Day  Hash

Run #1162, July 7, 2008

Hare:  Basket Boom Boom

Co-Hare: Snotty

Was-Supposed-to-be-Hare-But-was-a-Wanker: Tinker

Location:  Uxbridge/Millville, MA

Weather:  High 80’s, clear .

Present:   Dr WHO, Wee Balls, Bondo Jovi, Oozing SD, Swamp Whine, WIPOS, Ben. Visitor:  Europeein’ Whore. Non-Runners: Dogmeat, Short Peck.

The Run:

The hare set trail from the familiar location of Hanna’s in Uxbridge, in honor of Dogmeat’s birthday, rather than as a tribute to the Fourth of July. So no flags, no fireworks and no thought whatsoever went into this trail. Of course, “it was supposed to be Tinker’s run…” and “Snotty doesn’t know what he’s doing…” and “my brain hurt’s…” were just a few of the many excuses for this miserable recycling of a trail. Poor Europeein’. She never learns!

The trail began with a brief loop behind Hanna’s to the west. Wee Balls climbed the ridge and soon found true trail heading east on the old train bed. The pack crossed 146a, and soon turned north, just east of the small quarry. They were together as they crossed River Road. Except for WIPOS, who arrived late and was searching for the start.Soon, they crossed the River, next to the road. The water was clean. It was thigh deep. How dull! They came out into the larger old quarry, now overgrown with tall grasses. Ben followed Wee Balls as he became lost and confused on the powerlines. WHO, Swampy and Europeein’ became confused in the long grass. WIPOS was confused behind Hanna’s. Oozing climbed up a rise and saw the hare and co-hare down in the quarry, conferring with Bondo. After a brief search for Ben, the dog was found. Too bad.

Finally some marks were seen on the powerlines and a check sent WHO west on a gas pipeline. The hares followed, and WIPOS returned to his car, back at Hanna’s. They came to the river, and paused. Finally, they crossed to find the Beer Check. Beer was produced as the stragglers came in. Oozing managed to steal the hare’s bugle, and re-crossed to leave it on the far side of the stream. Ha, ha!

You can only have so much fun in Uxbridge, they say, and the hashes allotment was well overspent by this time. So, they packed up and turned southeast on a dirt road. Marks were lost again, but the pack made their way through and industrial lot, and came back out on 146a. They slowed to a walk (if going any slower were even possible!) and followed the road back to Hanna’s. Geriatric hashing at its best. WIPOS had to be awakened in his car.

The Circle was regrouped at Basket’s, in the pool. Dogmeat arrived, and incessant demands for her birthday suit provided a most excellent circle, with Swamp Whine and Dogmeat bottomless, and Europeein’ Whore in scanty-panties. Basket as usual provided the discordant counterpoint and was naked. The run was rated. Two River crossings, loss of WIPOS, three fine bimbos and mild shiggy were countered by the failure YET AGAIN, to lose Ben, the pavement, the recycled trail and the site of a naked Basket ruining the other views available. Total: -0.0 Hashit was given to Basket, for the same reason, invoking the “it was supposed to be Tinker’s run…” excuse to nullify the “hare can’t get the Hashit” rule. (There are NO RULEs, Basket!)

The food and the beer were then served. Dr WHO had brought a choice of movies for the birthday girl; one, being in PAL format, would not play on Basket’s antiquated DVD player. (Snotty snapped that one up, I can tell you. So, they were forced to watch the 1975 film “Abigail Leslie is Back in Town”, an underappreciated classic if ever there was one. Another Monday night in paradise!

On On