The Wimps and the Gimps Hash

Run #1169, August 25, 2008

Hare:  Dr W.H.O.

Location:  Weetamoo Woods, Tiverton.

Weather:  80’s, Humid, Threatening Rain .

Present:   Just Matt, Just Colin, Async, Bondo Jovi, WIPOS, Basket Boom Boom, Donkey Punch, Pubic Housing. Visitor: Hurling Dick (Newport H3).

The Run:
The hare assigned the 1169^th hash knew that for a special occasion like this, loads of hashers were bound to show up. Beer is getting kind of expensive, though. So he felt it best to arrange the start in Tiverton, far enough away from Providence to discourage the casual and the lazy from attending. He even went so far as to make some homemade crap T-shirts to hawk at the end of the run, so as to try to break even financially. If only another physician had showed up, he would have been able to deduct the whole thing from his taxes. But then again, the only other physician in the hash is Oozing, so ultimately he counted himself lucky.

Trail started out from the Weetamoo Woods Parking area on Lafayette Rd, west on the road. The hare instructed the pack to look for a left turn, so naturally, Async, Basket and Just Colin kept on going. They would have reached the water (and maybe drowned?) if Pubic Housing hadn’t called them back to the large and obvious true-trail arrow they had missed. Marks led into the Pardon Gray Preserve, and out onto the fallow pastures. There was some confusion at the next check. Async led a group into the woods due east. Just Matt found the real trail continuing south along the border of the field, and then turning east on trail back towards Weetamoo.

The group came out onto the yellow trail, where a check sent Basket (whining about his broken foot) and Async (whining about always taking the wrong trail at the checks) south on a long falsie. The rest turned north led by Just Colin. They ended up on the trail portion of Lafayette road, about 100 yards east of their cars. Ha, Ha! An arrow sent them past a large and prominently displayed “No Trespassing” sign, continuing north.

Trail was filled with thorns and fallen trees. It appeared to be bushwhacking until a Nature Conservancy sign was found. This is their excuse for a path. The going was slow and the group was pretty much together as they began to curve east through some recently cut paths through dense rhododendrons. Just Colin, Just Matt and Async began to pull ahead. Finally, after a brief bushwhack, they came to a rise and managed to stir up a buried yellow jacket hive. Just in time to ensure that the rest (especially Donkey Punch) would receive more than a fair share of stings.

Things were looking up. They came to a legitimate path. Another long falsie. Another chance for Async and Basket to whine about taking the wrong path. True trail turned south. It wound over some boulders and small hills until it finally led to the Beer Check. The stragglers in, the beer and fine snacks were provided by the hare. Some songs were sung. Some generalized whining about broken feet, injured knees, bee-stings, cramps etc. filled the air. Hashing at its finest.

On out trail led back south to Lafayette “Road”.  It was just starting to get dark, and a few flashlights were taken out for the first time. A check was ignored by most, as the hare led straight (sick of all the whining and ready for dinner). They came back west, and down to the cars. The circle formed up. Ratings included fine thorns, excellent stinging-insect and tick populations, large amounts of whining, and only 69 yards of pavement. Total: +6.9! The visitor from Newport was queried, and chastised for not bringing more bimbos. Hashit was given to Async, for boasting about always taking the wrong trail at the checks.

The circle was closed in the usual manner. They convoyed on to Li’l Bear where the kitchen was closed, so they had to make do with Tiverton’s Famous Pizza delivery. But another inexpensive evening resulted. Crappy T-shirts were sold, and a few songs were sung to the bartender and the clientele, who whistled through their few remaining teeth to show their approval. It doesn’t get much better than this!

On On