Labia Day Hash

Run #1170, September 1, 2008

Hare:  Amish It Head

Location:  Cranston.

Weather:  High 80's, Clear.

Present:   Dr WHO, Shine On, Eenie Weenie Dick, Just Matt, Just Margaret, Wee Balls, WIPOS, Fuwangi, Swamp Whine, Basket Boom Boom, Oozing SD, JIMA, Friar Fuck. Visitor: 2 Fuck Canuck (St Louis H3). Virgin: Just Brian.

The Run:

Another holiday, another school parking lot, another powerline, another hash. Ho Hum. But it was sunny, it was early and there were bimbos, visitors and virgins. The hash started from Cranston West High School near the tennis courts on Phenix Ave. The hare directed the pack to cross west to the powerlines, and they were off.

Following the basic Dry Foot trail (Run #1058), the falsies were easily mastered, although Basket and Fuwangi tried the path closest to 295 where Dry Foot had set his first beer check. This allowed WHO to lead the visitor and Wee Balls on true trail up the powerlines and over to 295 beyond the hill. Trail went close to the road, emerging out on the shoulder at one point. A check on the dirt road under 295 caused some confusion. WHO guessed correctly and crossed to the west side of the road.

Trail now looped south on some dirt paths. A nearly dry stream was crossed. No shiggy whatsoever. It looked as though the hare was headed for the quarries; a lovely spot for a Beer Check. But WHO defied all the laws of probability and again guessed correctly, curving back northeast. He and 2 Fuck Canuck arrived back at the underpass. It now displayed a large “B”. And a large bag o’ B was found. Naturally, the two carried it a short distance away into the woods.

The rest of the pack straggled in with the hare. The hare was most vocal about the loss of his beer, having been through this more than once. Only Shine On was enterprising enough to find Dr WHO and the visitor, giggling like schoolgirls 20 yards into the woods. She became a willing co-conspirator. Waiting can be hard, though. Once Basket headed off on the trail in, they came out and shared the beer. Oh boy, was it funny, though!

After the rhubarb rose, and Basket and Friar returned, the group made short work of the remaining beer. Trail back was trail in, reversed. How imaginative. The group decided to circle back at the hare’s house, where a BBQ was planned. The run was rated. No virgin territory, no one lost, no shiggy, and missing beer were balanced against bimbos, minimal pavement, and missing beer tricks. Total: +0.69. The virgin was queried, the visitors lambasted, and the backsliders punished. Hashit went to Eenie Weenie Dick, for reasons lost in the mists of time. Way too much food was served, and the afternoon ended when Dr WHO had sold his last commemorative crap T-shirt.

On On