School of Pavement Hash

Run #1173, Sept 22, 2008

Hare:  Justin My Ass

Location:  Rhode Island College, North Providence.

Weather:  Clear, low 70's.

Present:   Dr WHO, Florence Wallbanger, Oozing SD, Just Meghan, Scatwoman, Amish It Head, WIPOS, Basket Boom Boom (late).

The Run:
No one could actually believe that JIMA would actually set a trail. They were unpleasantly surprised. Starting from the tennis courts at the north end of Rhode Island College, the hare met the small group, just before 6:30. They were off a few minutes early. Basket had not yet arrived, and they wanted to be sure to miss him.

Trail led west through the campus. The group was studiously ignored by the student population. Flobanger found true trail heading out and south on Fruit Hill Ave. There were a few neighborhood detours at checks, but basically trail continued down to Manton Ave., and went west to the bike path. A falsie led to a crossing of the Manton Pond Dam. WHO and Scatwoman were first across, and at the “X” were successfully able to lure Flobanger, Oozing and Just Meghan across. Just Meghan took her shoes off for the crossing to stay dry. She put them back on, standing right next to the false mark. The concept of a false trail was explained. She took her shoes off again to cross back. I don’t think she quite gets it.

Trail continued northwest to the end of the bike path. It entered a neighborhood, and the marks were fairly sparse. It was getting dark, but not dark enough for the flashlights to be effective. Finally, trail and the hare were found entering a vacant lot at the end of Irons Ave. It was the beer check. The beer was brought out. A few songs were sung. The hare then tried to convince everyone that the trail continued on the other side of the Woonasquatucket River. Just a short swim. Yeah, right. Oozing and WHO tried out the water, but it was too scummy and deep for a 25 meter swim after dark. It was also clear that the hare hadn’t tried this before, either.

They all wisely decided to return the way they had come. More or less. WIPOS got on the wrong side of a fence in the factory on the south side of Irons. WHO, Scatwoman and Flobanger tried a shortcut by crossing the dam. These didn’t work out too well. Amish, Oozing and Just Meghan simply backtracked and were first in, except of course, for Basket. They had to listen to his tales of shiggy on the golf course, lies about mileage and no pavement, etc. All back finally, and, after Scatwoman tore her pants climbing the fence into the children’s playground, the hare announced that they would circle up in the woods at the rock (previously used in Run #998) at the east end of campus.

They drove over. Making their way into the woods to the rock, Basket and WIPOS proved yet again that there are no limits to human stupidity, as they got lost on the wrong side of a fence from the rock. Ha, ha! The run was rated. Apart from the almost inconceivable circumstance of JIMA actually setting a trail, the very conceivable absence of Bondo, and the almost inevitable circumstance of Basket getting lost, there were no positive comments. ALL PAVEMENT. No more needs to be said. Total: -69! Hashit went to Scatwoman for tearing her pants without actually exposing any body parts. Just Meghan was punished for showing up again. Finally, they headed out for the On On On at the Abbey on Admiral St. where there is a good selection of beer, and the food missiles and inappropriate songs were kept to a minimum.

On On