Name of Hash

Run #1183, Dec 1, 2008

Hare:  Justin My Ass (Basket)

Location:  The Lodge, Lincoln.

Weather:  High 30’s, clearing from recent rain .

Present:   Dr WHO, Wee Balls, Cumsockit To Me, Just Kathy, Just MJ, Florence Wallbanger, Just Nathaniel, Oozing SD, WIPOS, Bondo Jovi, Pubic Housing, Donkey Punch, Just Haines, Just Max, Retard (Pat My Fly), Wrung Guy (Mr Rogers), Numb Nuts (Friar Fuck).

The Run:

Why so many showed up for what was billed as a JIMA run, in WAY overused territory, is one of those eerie and inexplicable mysteries that will never be solved. The Lodge food ain’t that good! But nevertheless, a good crowd was there at the start. The substitute hare, trying to maintain the fiction that Justin My Ass had anything to do with this mess, stated that the hare had prelaid before the rains, and was delayed by a late class. Excuses for a virtually unmarked trail? Pretty likely, I think. With the threat that the Boston travelling hashers might arrive at any second, they were off promptly.

 

WHO found trail first, heading north and west from the parking lot past the usual circling-up point, and crossing the stream feeding the small pond just west of the Lodge. Getting wet was only optional. Wresting through some briars, they emerged in the fields behind the YMCA. The pack fell into disarray here. Even the hare couldn’t find his marks. Finally, he took the lead and the rest followed. The trail led slightly west of north. Here and there a mark was seen, but the young and fit visitors soon realized that they would either get no exercise, or end up totally lost if they tried to outpace the hare by too much.

 

The trail for the most part was on overgrown paths. The feeding branches of the Moshassuck river were crossed several times. Some swampy areas were encountered. But for the most part, they stayed on the contour line, mid-hill, parallel to Rt 146. Flobanger and Wee Balls, along with Just Nathaniel and Just Haines led. WHO hung back, mostly because he enjoys the sounds of Cumsockit To Me whining. Just Max was wishing he had stayed home. Bondo turned around, and went home. A frightening and unusual show of intelligence on his part. Oozing got lost. The 'hare' lost his own trail for a while.

 

Finally, they reached Sherman Ave. Despite the lack of marks, Wee Balls managed to find trail across the street, heading towards the quarry from Run # 829, now a lake. The hare stopped the group, and retrieved the beer. A fine beer check it was, too. No Bondo, No Oozing, and no annoying Bostonians. With newcomers present, the singing began. And went on, and on, and on on. Finally running low on beer, they were directed back by the hare. His instructions were ignored, and the lead group of Wee Balls, Flobanger, WHO, Just Haines and Just Nathaniel simply followed their instincts and paralleled 146 a little east of south. They found some new shiggy on the way. The hare, Donkey Punch and the bimbos followed trail closer to 146. They really missed out.

 

As they made their way back across the river, they noticed some suspicious lights and animal noises coming from the hill behind The Lodge parking lot. Ignoring these, the circle was formed. Only to be rudely interrupted by Oozing and the Boston crowd coming off the hill drawn by the scent of beer.

 

The run was rated. Shiggy, bimbos, lack of Bondo were strong positives. But the lack of marks, lack of virgin territory, and lack of a competent hare (this applies to both Basket and JIMA) were equally relevant. Total: -6.9. The visitors, two-timers and backsliders were dealt with. Just Kathy had hurt her toe, and was named Crack-Her Toe-ah. Imaginative, if obscure. Despite some efforts, a name for Just MJ could not be agreed upon. Hashit went to Basket. Not the hare, after all. The group finally went into The Lodge, and the evening finally ended.

On On