White Xmas
Hash
Run #1186,
Month XX, 2008
Hare: Basket Boom Boom
Location: Pound Hill Road, North Smithfield
Weather: Low 30’s, 12” Fresh Snow, Lightly snowing, tapering to freezing rain .
Present: Amish It Head,
Wee Balls, Dr WHO, Fuwangi Boner, Swamp Whine, Oozing SD,
Flobanger.
The
Run:
As the first
major snowfall of the year tapered off, only a few actually decided to brave the
icy roads to join in the Special Sunday Xmas Hash. And most thought it wise to bring
something to help them in the deep snow. Oozing,
Fuwangi and WHO opted for
skis; Swampy, Wee Balls
and Flobanger tried snowshoes and Amish went bare. Smart Amish!
[Note to self: leave the skis behind, next time!
At 2 PM, they
were off. The marks were in ski tracks, with some blue powdered chalk. Trail
began steeply uphill, across Pound Hill Rd., on Woonsocket Hill. The skiers
carried their skis to the top of the first rise; the snowshoe-ers had it a bit
easier, but unshod Amish found it easiest of all.
Trail led due south. Both Oozing and WHO had difficulty getting their skis back on. Oozing succeeded. WHO after 20
minutes of trying, gave up, and proceeded on foot. This proved very
fortunate.
The hare had
promised at least one circle jerk, but apparently no one had been listening.
Amish and Fuwangi led the
group as they turned southeast at a check. They came out into a neighborhood.
The hare led Swamp Whine uphill and west. He marked
the check. Ten minutes later, WHO arrived at the
check. The majority of the foot/snowshoe/ski marks went left. So WHO went right. Trail was steeply uphill at this point.
Another two checks were ignored, and WHO emerged on a
fiberoptic cable line to find the hare, Swamp Whine
and the beer check!
They were well
into their second beer by the time the stragglers emerged, led by Amish. Soon, all were present except Oozing. There was some rejoicing, but more interest in how
anyone could have possibly become lost on this trail. He finally showed up, did
a facial snow angel, and was serenaded with the “12 Days of Ramadan”. Finishing
up, the trail was all downhill from here. With Fuwangi’s assistance, WHO was
able to finally get his skis back on. This was very unfortunate. The left ski
was fully iced, so WHO's progress down the hill was
most amusing to Swamp Whine, and by the first turn,
the skis were off again, for good this time.
The trail came
out through a neighbor’s yard onto Pound Hill Rd. Somehow, the hare was able to
convince the lead pack to take Comstock Rd, and a brief bushwhack to Industrial
Rd. WHO and Swamp Whine
(surreptitiously aided by WHO’s pocket GPS) simply
followed Pound Hill back to the cars. The group left the parking lot without
incident, and convoyed to Bellas, where they were ferried to the hare’s and the
circle. Flobanger made a brief stop at Gators to pick
up Just Katie, and the circle was
formed.
The run was
rated. Too much pavement, too little shiggy, and no fractures, broken equipment
or loss-of-hashers. Total: -0.69. Hashit made the rounds from WHO to Oozing to Basket, but it ultimately ended up with Flobanger, for being unable to convince his girlfriend to
join the actual hash. They swung low, and moved inside.
Quite a feast
was there, with enough food for double their numbers. And when finished, the
Yank-Me Swap. There was the usual collection of beers, pornographic magazines,
and handcuffs/sexual aids. But a publication: “I Like Rainbows, But I’m Not
Gay”, and a pair of Dr Who Socks were the hits of the evening. For the occasion,
The Bad Doctor had provided another educational video, and all watched,
pretending to be scandalized. Ho, Ho, Ho! Another Merry Christmas
Hash!
On On