Marco Homo Hash

Run #1189, Jan 12, 2009

Hare:  Bondo Jovi

Location:  Woonsocket .

Weather:  High teens, fresh snow .

Present:   Dr WHO, Wee Balls, Florence Wallbanger, WIPOS, Basket Boom Boom, Amish It Head, Oozing SD, Fuwangi Boner.

The Run:

It is a measure of the addictive nature of hashing that anyone ever shows up for a Bondo run. Maybe one in ten is acceptable. Once a year, maybe, a good trail will be set. (What am I saying?!!) But usually, one leaves after a Bondo trail with only immediate indigestion and diarrhea the next morning to show for it. And this would be no exception to the usual rule. But with fresh snow, a new starting point, an invitation to ski, even… well, the usual idiots showed up yet again, hoping against hope.

From a parking lot on Davison (at the entrance to a new park along the Blackstone) in the little hamlet of Hamlet in Woonsocket, the group left promptly. The hare’s instructions were ignored. He did warn them that there would be no marks apart from ski tracks. Basket, Oozing and WIPOS were on skis. The rest had decided to run. A wise choice.

The tracks led into some playing fields. Often, the tracks were obscured by ATV tracks, but there really was no way to go, except south. They came out to the bike path. The lead runners tried as hard as they could to mess up the ski tracks so that the skiers would be slowed by ruts and divots. After a mile or so, however, Basket put on a burst of speed and moved into FRB position. Amish followed, and WHO, Flobanger and Wee Balls lagged back. Oozing and WIPOS were nowhere to be seen.

They passed some storage tanks. They crossed under Rt. 99. Boy, was this fun. Finally, after about 2.5 miles, they came upon the hare, chortling in the middle of the bike path. It was the beer stop. The usual Bondo-brew was broken out, and they waited for stragglers. And, waited. And, waited. Finally, Oozing showed up, a clear signal to end the beer check. The hare told the pack to reverse course and go back the way they came. The skiers complied, carrying a few extra beers for WIPOS (and, as it turned out, the latecummer, Fuwangi). The runners stuck with the hare, and walked an additional mile or so to the hares truck which was in a parking area just south of Manville Hill Rd.

They drove back on Railroad St., within sight of the bike path. Someone suggested that they call out to the skiers to let them know what losers they really were. This soon became a perversion of the children’s’ game “Marco Polo”. “Marco!” they yelled. “Homo!” they replied. Ah, too be so easily amused. They arrived back to find no one yet in the lot, and Fuwangi’s car parked with the rest. There was plenty of time for a change of clothes, a smoke or two and bladder relief on Basket’s car. Finally, they showed up, with tales of a second beer check, new territory, yada yada yada.

They drove back to the hare’s house to circle up in the unfinished first floor. Ratings for the run: snow. There were no other positives. Total: -69! WIPOS was given Hashit for failing to reach the beer check. Having had enough of this, they finished and moved upstairs for some salt-free meat pies, and some more beer. And that is more than enough waste of computer memory for this one.

On On