West Warwick Ass-Fault Hash

Run #1203, April 20, 2009

Hare:  Wee Balls

Location:  River Point Park, West Warwick .

Weather:  50's, Clear.

Present:   Basket Boom, Boom, Oozing SD, Dr WHO, Crackatoa, Just Kathy, Donkey Punch.

The Run:

The hare whined about angry property owners foiling his original trail plans, so it was obvious that this trail would suck. And it did. And there was pavement. And more pavement. Concrete. Asphalt. Macadam. Whatever. Only a few were dumb enough to show up. Note to hash: if Wee Balls is hare and Flobanger doesn’t show (or vice versa), you might as well just pack up and head for the nearest bar.

Trail started out briefly on the bike path, before turning right into some lightly wooded shiggy. But not for long. They came out to a check on the bike path that had Basket continuing west on the path, and WHO wandering around in some nice garbage-laden shiggy along the river. The rest were guided by the hare onto Bridge Street, headed south. After what seemed like endless miles of this inhumane pavement-pounding, they crossed the river at Factory St. and found a check. And another graded path heading north along the river.

This path (also paved!) led to a check which sent WHO uphill to some athletic fields. Trail went parallel to the fields along to an apartment complex. It then led down some abandoned stairs to a parking lot for the VFW, K of C, BPOE or whatever. It was not particularly challenging to follow, so Basket was soon lost. WHO continued to lead.

A check led out to Providence St heading east. More endless miles of bone-jarring concrete, until a check at a stone wall sent WHO southwest on some powerlines. There were some briars. There was some mud. But nowhere near enough to satisfy, let alone brag about. The powerlines turned east, and coming up a hill, the beer check was found. No pavement for at least 300 yds! The beer was found and enjoyed, unlike the run so far. But the enjoyment was clouded by the fact that it was inevitable that, to get back to the cars, more miles and miles of shin-stabbing agony would have to be endured.

Trail back reversed itself on the powerlines, mainly to give the illusion that one had spent at least SOME quality time in shiggy. Back on the road, trail crossed into an industrial parking lot, and then back on the (paved!) bike path. They crossed the bridge by the soap factory, disappointed in the lack of even olfactory shiggy. They limped back to the cars, and circled in the bushes on the other side. Ratings for the run: two quality bimbos and no Bondo could not make up for the worn shoes, shin splints and jarred kidneys caused by all that pavement. Total -6.9! Hashit went to Basket. On On On was at a nearby pub, with crap beer and an open mike comedy night. As if we hadn't had enough, already!

On On