Cinco de Mustachio Hash

Run #1205, May 4, 2009

Hare:  Donkey Punch

Location:  Fostern.

Weather:  60's, Light rain.

Present:   Wee Balls, Dr WHO, Friar Fuck, Pat My Fly, Oozing SD, Basket Boom Boom, Justin My Ass, Bondo Jovi, Crackatoa, Just Kathy, WIPOS, Fuwangi Boner, Swamp Whine, Just Josh.

The Run:

Again a write-up with no notes, and no recollection of the details. But WHO cares? It’s time for another generic write-up, bearing no resemblance to the reality of this hash. First and foremost, no Pubic Housing? What’s up with that? Does Donkey Punch think we’ll put up with him and his prosthetic limbs without Pubic to soften the blow? Second. What’s up with these Boston wankers showing up in the middle of freakin’ nowhere, RI? Have our hash d’erections really gotten that good? Third. Three bimbos? What is the world coming to? And how exactly did JIMA know to pick this night to return?

The hash started from a very small parking area on the Old Danielson Pike, near Anthony Road. This much I remember. The limited parking space was entirely filled. I believe ordinances were violated. Perhaps a malfeasance or two occured. But nothing out of the ordinary. Almost everyone had indulged the hare and worn a mustachio. Even the bimbos. Basket and Oozing went whole hog and had serapes and sombreros. A lovely sight. Trail out led north into a conservation area on a well-cleared trail. It soon turned into shiggy. Swamp was encountered. Small streams were crossed. A pond was skirted. There were briars. There were periods of light rain. Swampy lived up to her name. Yada, yada, yada.

Let’s see, Basket got lost. Pat My Fly fell behind. Friar got lost. WIPOS got lost. Almoist sounds good, doesn't it? Well, it wasn't. Wee Balls, Just Josh, Fuwangi and JIMA led the pack. There was a beer check. There might have been some Hispanic-type snacks. Arriba! Unfortunately, everyone made it there, although Friar required assistance. After the Rhubarb rose several times, they followed trail back, flashlights on. They circled back to the main trail and returned to the parking lot.

Circling up, the trail was rated. Bimbos, shiggy, virgin territory, good weather and no pavement were up against Basket and Bondo. Total: +0.69, but it was a close one. Hashit to Basket, of course. Backslider JIMA was punished. On On On was at a little restaurant on Rt. 6. If you want more detail, contact the hare. I’m sure he’ll be willing to stretch the truth a bit for you.

On On