Lost City Hash

Run #1206, May 11, 2009

Hare:  Fuwangi Boner

Co-Hare: Just Josh

Location:  Parente's, Smithfield

Weather:  60's, Clear.

Present:   Dr WHO, Friar Fuck, Pat My Fly, WIPOS, Crackatoa, Just Kathy, Bondo, Basket, Oozing SD, Donkey Punch, Pubic Housing, Justin My Ass.

The Run:

The beginning of the run was marked by the early arrival of Bondo Jovi, always a bad thing. Not willing to wait for 6:30 to roll around, he had a beer, took out some flour and amade an arrow pointing towards Bryant University. This fortuitously proved to be exactly the wrong direction. And then he was off, finding true trail across Rt 7 on a dirt road heading northeast. The hare was late in arriving, and didn’t notice the arrow. Fun times!

                                                                                                    

The pack was off, as soon as they could pry Friar and Pat My Fly from their barstools in Parentes. Trail led northeast through the woods out to Essex Street, then turned east up to the small bridge (previously a beer check in happier times). WHO found true trail in the stream turning back north. The pack made their way out to the powerlines and soon crossed east into the Lost City.

 

At this point, as filler, Basket has advised me to add the following:

Hanton City (known locally as Lost City

The remains of Hanton City consist of several stone foundations, a burial site, a defunct dam apparently used for irrigation, and a dilapidated scattering of stone walls, typifying it as a standard small New England farming community. The entire site is completely overgrown, making it nearly impossible to locate when any vegetation is present.

At the time of its habitation, the small settlement was extremely isolated from the main town of Smithfield. For this reason, several theories have been posited in regards to its raison d'ętre.

The first theory is that the residents of Hanton City were a small band of runaway slaves united to live in secrecy in the wilds of then extremely rural Smithfield. This theory seems unlikely given the logistics of a renegade group of people's ability to procure the building materials and basic supplies needed to create even the most rudimentary settlement (let alone the outside goods required to maintain day-to-day life).

The second theory is that the residents of Hanton City were all pariahs afflicted with a communicable disease that mandated their isolation from the general populace. The third and most likely theory is that those who founded Hanton City were Loyalists: colonists who remained loyal to the king of England during the American Revolution. It is uncertain whether these Loyalists were forced to live in exile by the historically fiercely independent Rhode Islanders or whether they chose of their own volition to form an enclave of the politically like-minded. Several Tories from Newport were exiled to Smithfield and Glocester in 1776, including Thomas Vernon whose diary was published.

Exciting, huh? Well, the trail did not take advantage of the Lost City. As far as these hares were concerned, the city will remain lost. But the beer did not remain lost, and the group reached the Beer Check, near the gas pipelines. Beer was opened. Meanwhile, back at Parentes, JIMA, Donkey Punch, Pubic Housing and Oozing were getting more and more lost in the brambles near Bryant. Note to hashers: if you arrive late and see a flour arrow anywhere near Bondo’s car, be very, very skeptical.

 

Finishing up, trail back was straightforward: south to the pipeline and out back to Rt 7. They circled up behind Parentes. The run was rated. No virgin territory, but a powerline (always a treat). No Oozing, but Bondo! No Donkey Punch, at least on trail, but also no Pubic Housing! The whines of those that had chosen Bondo’s guidance settled the issue: +0! Just Kathy was named: “Clamcakes”. WHO remembers why? Hashit went to Bondo, of course. The On On On was at Parentes, where the beer may suck, but the waitresses pants are tight and their thongs are microscopic.

On On