One is always tempted to waste an entire paragraph listing how many times the Burrillville Middle School has been used by Basket for a hash. Most of us have nightmares about this place, and most could run the area blindfolded. In fact, this may be a good idea for the next time he sets trail here. At least it would lead to some interest. But the hare is getting old. He gets lost in his own neighborhood not infrequently. And he claimed to have a new twist.

Surprisingly, not only was there a fair turnout of regulars, but two virgins showed up. Poor girls, what a way to start hashing! As always, trail started off at the east end of the parking lot. There was some initial off-trail shiggy. Bondo of course, ignored this and just carried on on the loop trail inside the river. As always, there were some unnecessary river crossings. Fuwangi chose to join Bondo, and ignore these.  As always, the trail made a counterclockwise loop.

The pack finally came upon the Beer Check, and the hare. He was busy inflating two bed mattresses for a race down the river. After some beer and some singing, the mattresses were ready, and team captains WHO and Donkey Punch chose sides. With Bondo missing, and the hare abstaining, it made for five to a mattress. The girls felt a new surge in their already soaring popularity.

The race was marked by numerous snags, illegal team swapping, and gross cheating by Just Pat and Oozing. WHO won? I’d like to think it was a moral victory, at least. The hare met the teams and the floats were deflated, with some more beer distributed. As always, the circle was moved to Basket’s, and held in the ice-cold swimming pool. Ratings for the run: the only thing saving the hare was the30% bimbo factor, the mattress-thing being considered racist. Total: -6.9. The virgins were queried, and told a joke. They promised to come back after their upcoming deployment. Right. Hashit went to Basket. Need I say more? Finally, the grill was going, the beer was tapped and the evening ended on a mellow note.