The start was from Dave’s Marketplace on Rt 1 in Wickford, near Cocumcussoc State Park. It was cool and dark, but not enough to scare away a virgin, brought on a date by Foaming Head. Not exactly the way I’d try to impress a date, but to each his own. A visitor also joined, from whence WHO doesn’t know.

At 6:30 with the usual promptness, they were off heading south and then west through swamp and thorns. A long bushwhack punctuated by the occasional deer trail showed the new boots why it is not exactly wise to show up for a WIPOS run. There was no running involved, just a large amount of cursing of the hare. This actually became an aerobic exercise, as the effort to expel a particularly vehement “FUCK the Hare!!” uses intercostals, abdominals in addition to the diaphragm. Accompany this with rude gesticulations, and you can actually get quite a workout. But I digress.

Finally, trail turned north and entered a neighborhood, where the grinning hare was first encountered. Trail led to the end of Stone Gate Drive, where the hare’s car was found. They re-entered the woods. It was noted that the hare was carrying the beer. So it didn’t take very long for the group to demand a beer check, especially when it was found that the hare couldn’t find his own trail either.

Foaming Head and Just Emmy (Stella) (confusing, eh? I recollect she was wearing a Stella Artois T-shirt. Or was it that she won an Emmy? WHO cares.) were lost in the swamps. I think the visitor was with them. Way to stick together. Bondo was back at his car by now. Basket was circling, but unfortunately, finally found the BC. All redeeming qualities of the hash were lost. A somber group shared the beer.

The hare suggested that they follow the On In trail as the most direct route back. A few morons gave this a try, but most said “FUCK the Hare!!”, and went back out to the street. West on South Gate, south on Hines and they hit Rt 102, back to Rt 1. An additional mile maybe, pavement perhaps, but they still beat the bushwhackers back.

The circle was in the swamp adjacent to the parking lot. Ratings focussed on the lack of marks, the loss of Just Emmy (the virgin and only bimbo), and the visitor were counterbalanced by the loss of Bondo. The shiggy was counterbalanced by the pavement back. FUCK the hare!! Total: -6.9. The visitor was welcomed, the virgin interrogated and the hashit was given to Oozing. The hare suggested Ocean Mist. FUCK the hare!! Finally, they wound up at Gillians, where, this time at least, there was no warm IPA.