Norton is Too Far Away Hash

Run #1237, December 14, 2009

Hare:  Flexible Video Endoscope

Location: Salmonese School, Norton, MA

Weather: High 30's, cloudy, a little snow on the ground.

Present:    Dr WHO, Wee Balls, Can’t Eat Pussy, Rusty, Bondo Jovi, Amish It Head, Oozing SD, Pubic Housing, Shemale Man, Florence Wallbanger; Visitors: Brigham Tongue, The Buttler Hit It (Boston Moon Hash); Virgins: Just Jesse, Just Anna, Just Ben; Late-cummers: Fuwangi Boner, Dicks on Broadway, Basket Boom Boom, Hairy Krishna.



The Run:

Virgin territory, virgin hare, and three virgins, all in one night. And visitors, too. What is the RIH3 coming to? Pretty soon, we’ll be twittering. But best of all, 6:30, and no Basket! Starting from a Middle School in Norton, MA, the hash was eagerly prompt in setting off on trail, heading north east behind the school, leaving some anxious looking parents behind in the parking lot.

 

Trail led into some brush and swampy ground, but quickly came out to W. Main Street. A short pavement segment and they found trail turning back into the woods, now northwest. They headed briefly on a dirt road, and a check sent them east for a meaningless loop. Back on track, they continued northwest, well away from the Wading River. A few checks tantalized, but gave no satisfaction.

 

The pack came to a check that looped them back south. WHO found marks and followed a narrow concrete dam on a pond. The snow on the ledge was promising, but no one managed to slip and test the thin ice of the pond. It turned out to be just a long falsie. The pack turned around. There was great confusion. Finally, true trail was found, heading north and then east to the beer check. Less than 30 minutes had passed.

 

The beer check was of course marked by prolonged singing, in honor of the virgins. It was at least partially ruined by the appearance of late-cummers Basket and Fuwangi. And even Bondo made the beer check. The virgins were confused by a Bondo version of “The Wild West Show”. Actually, everyone was confused by the Bondo version of “The Wild West Show”. What else is new?

 

Finishing up the pitiful supplies of beer, they were off, on-in. Trail led southwest, crossing the Wading River. They hit a check with a falsie that would have led to the most direct route back on the road, but no one was smart enough to realize this. So they followed marks southeast on the other side of the river pretty much straight back to the school. They circled up.

 

The run was rated. Virgin, virgin, virgins; minimal pavement, hash completed in one hour. Looked good for the hare briefly. However, Bondo, Basket, nobody waist deep in a frozen pond, and minimal shiggy. Total: +0. The visitors were punished, and duly sang. The virgins were interrogated, and I believe, told a joke. Hashit went to Wee Balls. I’m not about to start remembering why, at this point in my life. And Wee Balls is denying everything. Finishing up, they went to a restaurant. It probably was Wetherlaines. But WHO can remember?


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