Shady Pines Hash

Run #1249, March 8, 2010

Hare:  Can't Eat Pussy

Location:  North Attleboro.

Weather:  50's, clear.

Present: Dr WHO, Shemale Man, Florence Wallbanger, Amish It Head, Flexible Video Endoscope, Just Tom, Just Jerry, Just Andreas, Hairy Krishna, Just Rich, Just Ben, Just Jen, Just Rose, Just Whitney, Basket Boom Boom, Just Courtney, Just Al, Bondo Jovi, WIPOS. Just Maybe. 

The Run:
The hare managed to attract quite a crowd of virgins and few-timers for a hash in virgin territory (except for Basket and Bondo, of course) in North Attleboro. Too bad we’ll never see most of them again. The most amusement of the entire hash came at the beginning, watching everyone pull into the wrong driveway to Camp Shady Pines off Huntsbridge Road. It’s the little things that keep us coming back.

Trail led east across a field towards the golf course at first. It turned back and rejoined the road that should have been obvious in the first place. Not a complete waste, though. Basket headed off on his own on the golf course. The rest followed the road south.

Now occurred what we like to call a Circle of Confusion. This differs from a Circle-Jerk in that the Circle Jerk is intentional. The Circle of Confusion is caused by a Jerk that is too cheap to use more than 2 lbs of flour to set his trail. In the dark. But I digress. The pack found a check near a shed. Some went straight, Some went left. Some went right. No matter which choice was made, they all seemed to end up back at the shed. A laugh riot. Finally, someone found a mark bushwhacking westward, and they were back on track.

Trail led south, parallel to Abbot Run. A check near a marshy pond led to a false mark which, if blown through, would have cut the remaining trail in half. WHO was smart enough to recognize this? No, WHO wasn’t. So, following the rest of the pack, those not fast enough to lead, nor slow enough to hear the pack as they doubled back, were forced to take the unnecessary south-north loop.

Northwards along an old railroad grade, the pack came to a check that, when solved, turned east to the beer. They tried to be very, very quiet. But to no avail. Basket arrived. At least Bondo had given up, and was back drinking his own supply at his truck. With this many virgins and bimbos, the beer check was certain to be a prolonged rhubarb-fest. And it was. It was only the lack of beer for this huge crowd that broke up the party.

There may have been a creative trail back planned. But the hare had blown his load, and used up his meager allowance of flour. So they simply went north to Huntsbridge Road, and took the painful pavement back to the cars. They circled up. The run had bimbos of exceptional quality. The run was virgin territory. (Except for Basket and Bondo, of course.) But there wasn’t much in the way of shiggy, none of the bimbos got wet, and there was that pavement thing again. Total: +0.0069. Just Rich received a naming, and is henceforth “Pickled Syphilitic Dick”. The virgins were initiated, and Hashit went to Shemale Man. Don’t worry, it didn’t make sense then, either.

The On On On was at Box Seats, where the hash was joined but yet two more bimbos: Just Jocelyn (two-timer) and Just Andrea (No-timer, but hopefully PSD can change that.)  Another wasted Monday night.

On On