Wee Balls Wet Spot

Run #1311 MAY 16, 2010

Hare:  Wee Balls

Location:  Along and through the Mighty Pawtuxet River

Weather:  Low 40's, Clear.

Scribe:  Rusty

Present: 

The Ladies were: Holeminers Daughter, Crabby Shag, Crotch Tiger, Pubic Housing, and The Clapper.

The Laddies were: meself, Dr WHO, Oozing, Shemail Man, Basket, Wee Balls, and at least one other Wanker who’s name I forgot. 

The Hashit: Shemale Man

The Run: 
The drive to Knight Street in Warwick seemed a little odd as we were only moments from I95 & the busy TF Green Airport, yet we were surrounded by trees and woods. The parking lot could have been a challenge if more than 12 hashers had shown up, as luck would have it BONDO stayed at home and so did WIPOS.

The hare, Wee Balls, anxiously awaited the 6:30pm start and several pack members were ready to leave early so as to avoid the arrival of any further hashers.

Off we went following a large arrow bringing us parallel to the grave yard and on through some well worn paths. WHO was leading the pack for a moment along with Hole Miners Daughter alas this was short lived and the “real” over achiever of Shemail Man was soon breaking trail and shouting the occasional on-on. Basket was wearing some very sporting attire and he looked like a guide from DEM with his water proof khaki green jacket, climbing boots, khaki shorts, and wooly socks. The only thing that made him look like a hasher was the $5 t-shirt under the entire garb.

We were quickly upon the first river crossing; and it didn’t look like much of a challenge. Probably 69’ wide, but the challenge lay hidden in the current and the waist high depth as one got to the middle of the river. Oozing was sorry he left his little duck life jacket in his car, but he made it across without too much effort - probably nudged on by pushing from Pubic. And so we made it to the far bank, and now we were in the thick brush with marks high above the ground. A check loomed ahead, as did the hare. He had this dirty grin on his face and directed his eyes to the checkmark, it was a circle with a dot in the middle. Seasoned hashers and FRB’s knew that they should hang around to help with directions for this type of check. We were graced with a quick glance at a sports bra and no more. The FRB’s took off, the pack split, the trees became closer together, sounds of on-on were being drowned out by the cars on 95, but we continued.

Shemale Man and Rusty found the BN mark with a true trail arrow, the arrow pointed into a concrete tunnel that appeared to go under the entire width of 95 North and South. The only flour mark was right at the edge and it was decided that without any marks actually in the tunnel it was likely that the hare didn’t traverse said route. The pack was slowly catching up, we searched for trail beyond the tunnel entrance and looked for beer in the area but nothing was found. Shemale Man led the way through the 7’ high tube, the nasty part was the 3’ of very soft warmish slimy crud that was at the bottom of this pipe. Thoughts of skeletons and other wild animals ready to jump up at any moment brought a kind of Pirates of the Caribbean fear, there were cries of varying degrees each representing a different type of hidden soft mush. Methane bubbles quickly rose to the surface causing the RRB’s to gasp for air. Realizing their peril, they started pushing past the slowpokes, almost tossing Basket into the highly combustible and lethal mixture. It’s a good thing we had no smokers or it would have made for an interesting headline in tomorrow’s news.

Near the end there was several mentions of wedgies having occurred in the tunnel, on quick examination this was found to be true. So, despite the difficulty in the final leg where you almost had to kiss your arse to get out of the tunnel, we all made it only to be faced with a river crossing.

Across the river was Wee Balls wearing that sly grin again, he had the beer and the only way across appeared to be swimming. A whole bunch of us swam, led by 5 bimbo’s. Basket walked and so did Pubic, Oozie and WHO. Beer was enjoyed and an improvised clothes line was set-up for some unknown reason, probably some “greens” amongst us.

After much singing and with the temperature dropping the hare gave us directions back to the k’aaz, this section of trail was ALL pavement and allowed Holeminers Daughter and Crabby Shag to perform some amazing tricks with a soccer ball!!

The circle was set-up with half of us on the bank and half in the river, the hare was given a thumbs up for exposing all of us to diseases that haven’t even been discovered yet and Basket got the Hashit because WHO said so, but it eventually ended up with Shemale Man for obvious reasons. The circle wrapped up with the usual announcements and we planned on going to Track 84 in Warwick for the On-on-on.

It was about this time that Rusty started up the engine of his car and closed the door, only to find all doors locked when he returned. An interesting conundrum, three AAA cards were quickly located and then as if it were divine guidance a AAA van drove down the street en-route to another call and the guy was able to open the car window in about tree seconds. Just when you think things are going well, we find that when Basket gets to T84 he appeared to have dropped his car key back at the start but he had a spare. Pizza and beers were the order of the night along with the usual free popcorn in your beer whether you like it or not.

On On

Rusty