Nothing says love like meeting a cop in a car, in the woods
Run# 1350
Date: February 13, 2012
Hare: Flo Banger and Pissonya
Location: Heritage Park, Glocester
Weather: Baby it's cold outside
Present: Oozing, Dr WHO, WIPOS, Wee Balls, Rusty, Basket, Just Pat, Crabby Shag, Ass Quack, Flo Banger, Pissonya, Shemale Man, Last of the Spread Cheekins', others.
Hashit: Basket
The Run: Heritage Park is not a very large area for a Hash and it's family oriented. The Blackstone Valley Parks Info Link says: "Parents will love the short hike, about 1.75 miles, perfect for little children. The trail is overflowing with wildlife. Along the trail are birdfeeders, picnic tables, a play area and shepherd's hut, a reproduction of the huts used before the area was returned to the forest. The hut is a low room with rock walls and grass growing on the roof." Sounds cute doesn't it? We've been here a few times before. Remember the time we ran/skied on more than a foot of fresh snow. The parking lot wasn't plowed and we had to push Shine On out. There was no need to push anyone out tonight. Even had police escorts driving along the trails to make sure none of the little children got hurt, but more on that later.
I was running a bit late as usual, but had a pretty good shot of making the start of the Hash, when I realized my torch was a bit weak, so I ran back into the house for a backup. I was traveling south on Rte 102 when just in front of me, a couple cars decided to hump at the corner of 102 and 107, about a mile from my house. I was stuck behind an 18 wheeler that could not navigate around the cars, and the police kept him at bay until all was cleaned up. They directed him to take a left towards the police station and continue north on Old Victory Highway....at about 3 miles an hour. I arrived at the start 5 minutes late.
Normally there would be a few late arrivals at that time of night, and as I started out on trail I heard Pissonya speaking to someone. She was evidently not on trail, because that's the last I heard of anyone for about an hour. Trail continued into the park, taking a few lefts and rights, staying entirely on lovely trails, with checks clearly marked and a shit load of flour. There would be no way anyone could get lost, I thought to myself, as I reached the trailer park. I've been thrown out of here doing recce's before, but tonight nobody was home and the trailers were not rockin'. I came to a check that was not clearly marked, as the previous ones had been, and continued on. Not finding marks I searched in the woods for something, finally going back I noticed a small dick-like branch pointing towards the woods, and I heard someone call "OnOn!" I crossed small brook and that was the last flour I saw for about a half mile. So much for the "Too much flour" thoughts I had previously. There was absolutely no flour off trail.
I hit a road and wanted to go left but went right instead. Doubt of my choice plagued my thinking for about a quarter mile until I hit flour again coming in from the right. I continued following flour to a large field, where a check pointed straight, but I found no additional flour, so I searched back and left into the woods, but nothing. I decided to follow the arrow, despite the lack of flour on a trail that had way-too-much earlier. Eventually, I found flour again much further on and then the Tit Check. It was kicked right and I was just about to make that turn, when a horn was sounded off to my left. There was no flour in the woods towards the pack, so I continued on track until a trail leading in that general direction was encountered.
A couple turns later I ran into Oozing, literally. He was backtracking and said there was nothing in that direction. Not trusting foreigners, I continued on, there was no reason to start making good decisions now. He found trail again and I sheepishly followed his call. It wasn't much longer before the calls from the pack at the beer stop was heard, and magically the Asshole song was in progress as I arrived. It is quite a coincidence that I usually arrive just as that particular song is being sung. I poured a beer in the dark, knowing full well elbows were pointing in my direction at every "Asshole". Oozing arrive short after that, and missed the "Asshole" part. I'm sure he felt left out.
The pack had saved a beer and a couple chocolate chip cookies for the Late Cummers, so I can't complain. As the beer was gone they went. On back was fairly straight forward for Flo. No marks, but "just bushwhack to a trail and go right at the 45 degree tree", or was that left at the forked tree. We all made our way in same general direction. I was running along with Rusty, WHO commented about a car in the woods. Thinking that our trail may be paralleling Chestnut Oak Rd, I suggested that to Rusty, WHO all but called me an idiot. We arrived at the parking lot with 3 squad cars, lights on, and the pack, just arriving, explaining what we were doing. WHO pointed to me saying something about letting the old folks out for moonlit walk in the woods. No beers were being displayed. Then another squad car comes out of the trail with the remaining pack close behind.
They didn't stay long as the 10pm Duncan Donuts special would be ending soon. The pack circled up just beyond the trail head and lovely things were said of the Hares laying abilities. I had a 'show and tell' moment by displaying a Valentines Day card received today to "My Buddy" from Bondo. Of course that was suggested as a reasonable cause for Hashit, and Oozing gleefully handed it over.
Since the cops were not coming back, we finished the circle and made our way to Chesters. The beer was just okay and the food something less, but the company on such a warm loving night could not have been better.
Basket