Hash: Running the Runnins River Hash

Date: February 11, 2013 # 1402

Hare: W.I.P.O.S.

Hashers Present: Basket, Dr WHO, PussGalore and Oozing SD.

Nemo. Not the Disney cartoon most of the Rhody Hash stayed home to watch that night. But THE winter storm of the Century. The media warned it was going to be worse than the blizzard of '77. It didn't disappoint. Indeed, it was more reminiscent of the winter storm and avalanches that struck north Europe this day, February 11th in 1952. Knowing this, everyone stayed indoors. Or was it the ensuing confusion from the prior weeks hash that honoured some garbled mumbo jumbo as classic literature? Little did they know that they were to miss a classic.

The afore-mentioned braved the mist and snow-piled roads to arrive at the parking lot where the hare awaited, shocked to see ANYone show up. As Donkeys map will show, the hash could not have been more centrally located in our wee state. The hare was be-decked in snowshoes. Oozing noted that he alone was without gaiters. Even PG had her Footloose legwarmers acting as gaiters. Uh oh.

The hare promised whisky and beer. And marsh and river crossings. Industrial wastelands. Wild mammals. And snow. Loads of it. Cunningly he had marked trail with his trade-mark postage stamps on trees on Friday. BEFORE the storm. So there were no footprints to follow despite the snow. Cunning wiley old fox, speaking of mammals. The pack were sent into the wilderness behind the parking lot. The snow was at least a foot deep. There was no discernible trail but the pack stayed on-course thru briars, thickets and eventually marshland. Across a stream antd thru a construction site. Despite Basket being colour-blind, somehow he found trail and traded FRB's with WHO with PG following and OOzing behind her, admiring the view. Of the lovely wild nature.

Briefly across a parking lot, back into the woods and snow. And lots of deer droppings. Across a stream that the pack navigated over lumps of snow/ice. Oozing didn't bother avoiding the water as his feet were already wet. After much bushwacking and behind another mill, up a hill and to the whisky check. Multiple expensive single malts. Basket demanded some skin from PG. She obliged. WHO handed out his season-holder REdSox tickets to some games for free. OOzing revealed the true story behind his name. WIPOS tearfully apologized for his past hash-disasters. Everyone was happy.

Off the pack went down the hill, thru thigh high snow behind mills weaving our way thru the frozen marsh. Down to the runnins river and across. WHO fell in. PG screamed with joy as she did not. Oozing wept as he dropped his hat somewhere. Basket, blind as a bat, made it across, didn't follow trail, but somehow did NOT get lost. A pack of deer lept gracefully like wildebeest in the Serengeti. Oozing went back to get his hat, and was not seen/heard of for two hours. PG feared for her safety with the remaining horny hashers.

The pack came out ot the road, then headed back behind another mill and snow, made it to the beer check in a deep ravine. A raging fire awaited the pack. Loads of beer. Snacks. Dancing dusty maidens. PG felt a little relief. WHO felt a poke. Basket, still blind. felt for something with his one-eye worm mistaking WHO for one of the maidens. Oozing felt missed. WIPOS felt nothing underneath his quadruple layering of clothing.

Beer consumed, the pack trotted back to the cars. Oozing was not there. He had decided to tour EP and Riverside. To Kent Heights and site of another famous Wipos event. He finally knocked the door of a policeman and asked for directions. Offered a ride in the back of his trooper car, wisely decided to leg it. By this time, the hash were out looking for him, thinking him drowned in the river or caught in a fence. PG picked him up about a half-mile away.

The circle ensued. Positives for the weather, marsh, no Bondo, no SheMale, PG-nipples and losing Oozing. Negatives for the tarmac and finding Oozing. It appeared the hash was shocked that WIPOS could actually lay a decent trail. More shocking than when Buster Douglas KO'ed Mike Tyson Feb 11th 20 years ago. Basket promised to pay for food. The pope resigned whilst alive. WHO promised to give up his penchant for obscure porn. And Oozing, well he OOzed.

HASHit was (NOT) given to the obvious silly one that went back for his hat and got lost. How about the one WHO picked him up? Or WHOm missed last weeks hash in his backyahd? Or the obvious one who was too blind to see the obvious? I'm not telling....

ONIN at Not Your Average Rajesh's. Dogfish on tap. Yeah!