Location: Carolina Management Area, Richmond Town House Rd
Date: November 4, 2013
Hare: Dr WHO
Pack of Dicks: Basket, Bondo, WIPOS, Rusty, Donkey Punch, Ass Quack, OOzing, Shemale (?), Buddy the Dog
Bundle of Boobs: Crabby Shag, Crotch Tiger, Pussy Galore
Back Sliders: Hole Miners Daughter
Visitors:Tandy Ass (New Orleans H3), Easy Entry, Bi-noc-ulars, and Snoozing/Floozing (Rotten Groton H3)
Virgin: Just Joe
One needs to be cautious when the Hare's d'Erections are almost spot on and the pack still drives past the parking area. It was a dark and cold night, but dry and starry. With no street lights or signs to mark the spot, most of us drove right past the turn-off. If it weren't for WIPOS standing street-side with his flashlight, we might have had a smaller pack. He even caught the attention of a passing cop, WHO asked what the problem was. WIPOS politely answered, "We're having a run.", and the officer left us.
Shemale would have given him our website and the Hare's phone number.
The Hare had chosen this location to give the Groton folks an opportunity to not only make the Hash on time, but possibly allow them to make a beer stop for once. Having been lost on trail or not finding trail, their success rate has been pathetic. It's no wonder they run on pavement.
This was to be co-Hared by HMD, having just moved back to Rhode Island, but over the weekend she pulled a neck muscle wrestling with her sister. I've heard many excuses over the quarter century that I've worn shiggy shoes, but it's a sad day when a daughter can't help her dad with a lay.
Chalk talk was late as we waited for the last of the RGH3 to arrive. Rusty pointed out that at last week's Hash, in Newport, they were 15 minutes late, so the Hash was moved 30 minutes closer to them and they were still 15 minutes late.
With little fan fare, the pack started out past the trail-head and along the main trail into the forest, heading due west. The first couple checks were straight-on and I had the luxury of being in the front of the pack with Rusty. At the third check, I fell behind and was with Tandy Ass for a while, then slowly falling back from the speedy to the last of the runners, as I was either off track or picking myself up..
We followed flour, lightly packed on tree-side and hardly distinguishable from the liken, so it was almost invisible to me, out to a marshy area. This was a lovely part of the trail, that could be followed by looking for the footprints in the mud, that, at times, had the consistency between coffee grounds and oatmeal, but smelled like shit. My shoe laces had been loosened by the bull briars at the last check, and I almost had them sucked off (he he;>) a few times. Eventually stopping in the more firm surface to tie them properly. This put me even farther behind the main pack.
A good check around the pond found me just where I'd hope to be all night, just behind Crabby. She had her lovely stretch pants on and with my flashlight keeping track of her movements, I fell over some branches and lost my position and view.
I could hear a horn behind me and not knowing where WHO was, I stopped to call the DFL's on. Soon the walkers, WHO, Bondo, WIPOS, OOzing and the RG group as well as the late arrival of Crotch Tiger and Pussy....now things were looking up again, and again I fell watching butt instead of ground.
The Beer Stop was soon after, in a structure that looked like a roadside vegie stand, and beer and snacks were enjoyed by all, as we had a very enthusiastic songfest. Beer finished we started walking back, until WHO lost his way. One might say he did a long time ago, seeking comfort in tabacci and beer, but he managed to find his way again and we were soon back at the cars.
The Hash was rated a solid 69, with most complementing the trail (a most disturbing trend), with the only negative being Shemail, giving it a thumbs down. Since it was not a number, it could not be computed and therefore a very postive rating overall. WHO sang a good version of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar. The vistor from LA said it was his best RIH3 Hash and he got his just desert DD. Backslider HMD got one as did the visitors from Groton. Hashit was bestowed on me, not because of my losing trail so often tonight, or falling every time I looked up at butt and found my ass tripping over tree limbs, no, it was because some bastard put the Hashit in my car last week and I stupidly said it was still in my car.
The singing and fun continued on for some time, while WHO did his best to move on. Eventually we went to the OnOn at Ernie T's in Wyoming. A good number of us found our way, and finished the night in good form with 'the Sexual Life of a Camel and We're all Queers Together'. We left the place as we found it and started home. That's all folks.