Location: Franklin Forest, the Circle Jerk Hash
Date: November 18, 2013
The Pack: Basket, WHO, OOzing, Pubic Housing, Donkey Punch, Dog Meat, Crabby Shag, Ass Quack, Hole Miners Daughter, and Retard
Hashit: Crabby Shag
It gets dark early this time of year, but tonight's full moon was just rising and we'd have plenty of light to enjoy tonight's scenery. It's been a long time since we've traveled these woods and we were hopeful it would be a fun Hash. But this is WIPOS and historically it's been more interesting than enjoyable. The Hare was absent as the 6:30 mark arrived, as is his usual MO, so the pack followed the previously laid arrow onto the Southern New England Trunkline Trail. The pack stayed together until the first intersecting trail on the right. There was no check here, but I ran up the trail to see if I might short-cut and find the beer stop early. After about 1000 yards, finding no flour and seeing that the trail was turning back toward the start, I reversed direction back to the old railroad bed, where I ran into WHO. I told him there was no marks and I continued past him.
I was in back of the pack and just as I caught up to Pubic, there was an arrow pointing to a trail off on the right. Thinking I might yet find a short-cut, I continued straight, passing a number of houses as the trail started to join Spring Street. Realizing the error of my ways, I again turned around to join the pack. They were now far ahead and I could not hear the hounds and felt very alone, but happy. The moon was now overhead, the trail was mostly well worn pine needled soft dirt, and I was confident I'd be meeting them soon. At another intersection, I went right and found flour heading uphill. As I traveled farther yet, I could see lights off in the woods. The pack was moving in my direction along the meandering trail. Donkey called out to see if I was on trail and I answered positively, but in an opposite direction. Since I was looking off into the woods at the time, I did not see the false trail mark below my feet.
I continued past Donkey, WHO noticed the false trail mark and continued on. Most of the pack wondered around like aimless fools and I ran past them, joining Pubic, then OOzing and finally Ass Quack holding his dog. Very quickly we knew we were fucked, as we started going around the loop, some 3 times. Donkey thought he found flour off into the woods, but that turned out to be a mistake. The pack split up into separate groups. Donkey and company, have made the third trip around the CJ, decided to head back to the cars. I ran off in the direction I had not traveled previously and found the tell tale marking of WIPOS' dobbler identifying my direction was true. The dobbler is most often pointing in the direction of travel by leaving flour on the uphill side of rocks, side of the tree and often the 'dobbler effect' of spillage heading in the direction of travel after the dobbler is tapped on the ground.
I ran into Pubic, WHO had already decided to turn back to the cars. At the next check, I called "OnOn", finding flour laid and confirmed by the 'dobbler effect'. She followed me, reluctantly, until we ran into OOzing. He was running the trail backwards, after being confused by the events at the circle jerk, and he joing the pack of 3. Soon Ass Quack caught up to us and off in the woods, another headlamp was seen and it turned out to be WHO. He had continued on that first trail and finally joined us in our journey. We had all decided that the Hare laid a total F-up and we were going back to the cars, when we found WIPOS at a trail head and map sign post. "Is this the beer stop?" asked WHO. "No!', replied the Hare, "it's the whiskey stop." Disappointed but determined to make the most of a bad situation, we waited while he pulled out small shot glasses and filled them with, not whiskey, but cinnamon hot schnapps. Looking at the map, Pubic said she was going to continue along the trail to the trunkline, but WIPOS insisted that she would find private property and not make it back. He also said that was not the direction to the beer stop. I started out in the direction we had been traveling, along flour, until the second check, where I continued on after the flour ran out. OOzing was behind me and called RU, and I relied, "bushwhacking" thinking I was going straight back to the cars.
Eventually, WIPOS' horn was heard off to my left rear and I decided to turn around, joining WHO, WIPOS, Pubic, OOzing, Ass Quack and Hendrix at the beer stop, in a field. The very same field WHO had crossed early on after he left me at the start. The Hare started a fire, that was quickly extinguished when WHO threw ice on it, and undeterred, WIPOS started it up again. A few songs were sung, but the discussion was mostly about the, so called, circle jerk and false trail mark, where the Hare admitted he got lost. Suggestions that if the trail is not crystal clear it may be advisable for the Hare to stay with the pack and possibly offer some advice, especially for the sick, lame and lazy.
We finally made it back to the cars, and circled up on the tracks. The Hare, having stayed to put out the fire and pack up, was last to arrive as we impatiently waited for the beer to arrive. Comments were mostly in the negative and stopped short of name calling, with the only positives being it not too cold and a very bright full moon. The Hare received a negative .69 and his down down, just as a light was seen down the tracks. We all thought it was a train. Most walked to the side, but looking just past our location you could see the end of the tracks, so a few stayed their ground. It may have been a train, but the light moved off and we continued the circle. Down-downs were given to the Backsliders and Crabby won Hashit. We then traveled to Joe's for food and beer, scratching our heads wondering if the Hare should be put into the Dog House. OOzing suggested we have him lay trail every other week until he gets it right. I thought the trail was interested and would have received a good, if not superb, rating for virgin trail with plenty of flour, had the Hare not been lost or stayed with the pack. just as Pubic and Donkey did this week....but that's another story and maybe Rusty should tell that one. Hashers, like children, have a short attention span and get bored quickly, conversely, they also have a short memory and we'll be on another WIPOS trail in a couple months.