he April Fools Day Hash
Run #1461, March 31, 2014
Hare: Ass Quack
Location: Tird Beach, Middletown, RI
Weather: Rainy, cold, dark and miserable
Present: Shemale, Basket, Hairy, Luxury Box, Ass Quack, Pubic Housing, Donkey Punch, Crabby Shag, Oozing, WIPOS, Crotch Tiger, Crisco Kid and Smart Alex
Hashit: Pubic and Basket

It had been raining heavily for the last 3 days, and it was sure to be a good shiggy trail. At 5pm the sun made its presence through the clouds just as it set in the western sky. Temperatures were nearing 45F and it wasn't going to get much warmer except the fact, we'd be running. It wasn't easy to find the start. If you followed directions by the Hares, you'd hit the 'Road Closed' sign. Luckily, I ran into Rusty, WHO knew the because I relayed the information from WHO, WHO couldn't find the relocate start. Eventually we all found our way, even Smart Alex, as he was pulling into the wrong lot, as we were running out. The trail started out of the parking lot near the camp ground on Tird Beach Rd, and immediately hit the reason for closure. High tide and a lot of water, over ran the road causing a small pond in front of us. I was behind Rusty again, knowing if anyone knew where they were going, he would.

We went left on Tird Beach Rd, rather than into the very wet bird sanctuary, and found flour just after taking a right onto Hanging Rock Rd. There were lights in front of us, where the faster runners made their way over the pond. WHO continued up Hanging Rock Rd, while most of us wiggled under the fence and up the hill to the overlook. We soon found flour and followed the trail, counter clockwise, around the swamp in the center. We could hear Crabby, WHO had not been at the start, but was out laying the Beer Stop just before we arrived. Following her calls, we made our way over to the other side and beer. Rusty was first followed by Donkey and Smart Alex. When I arrived, we tried to hide the beer from the rest of the pack over the side of the cliff, but they soon found it. Crabby was wearing her, very fashionable but not practical, galoshes. (remember her on the ski trail and complaining the snowshoes would not stay on her feet with these on?)

Eventually we all had beer and song as we were happy the rain stopped and the temperature was not dropping much lower. Steam rose from the bodies along the cliff and our singing filled the valley below. When the beer was finished, we started back out on trail. This led to the entrance of the nature preserve and we were stopped by the DEM on duty. He told us the area had been closed since sun set and asked what we were doing there. We told him we were there before sunset, but got lost. Looking down at Crabby's feet, he ask her if she was running in those things, and she replied to the affirmative. Looking at her with a critical eye, he said, "I don't think so!" I confirmed her story and said, "Just because she's cute, doesn't mean she's smart." Then we ran off to the end of the run.

The circle was just off the pond, where a road used to be, and comments were made. The run was rated a positive 6.9 and the Hares had a down-down. Crisco got one for Backsliding, and eventually Pubic and I got the Hashit. I don't remember why, but the Hash really doesn't need a reason for anything. Then most of us traveled to KJ's for beer and food and then home.
That's all I got.