The Yet Another, Lincoln Woods Hash
Run #1463, April 14, 2014
Hare: Amish'it Head
Location: The Lodge Pub and Eatery, Lincoln, RI
Weather: Cool for a nice walk in the park
Present: Shemale, Donkey Punch, Pubic Housing Basket, Hairy, Luxury Box, Heath, Bondo, Buddy, Ass Quack, Crabby Shag, Oozing, WIPOS, Crotch Tiger, Retar'd, Dog Meat and Pussy Galore
Hashit: Ass Quack

You could hear the groans in North Kingstown and Middletown when Amish announced he'd be laying another trail in Lincoln Woods. The Hare was proud to announce he had directions out two days ahead of Hash Day, and pointed out he was was doing something 'new' in posting directions prior to 6.9 minutes before the hash start. Even saying that this gave Donkey "plenty of time to brainstorm things to complain about, not that he's one to complain." What he didn't say was, he could have listed his next tree Hash direction starting here and could have been, up to, 9 months early, but I degress. The pack started to arrive and we welcomed Retar'd back to the states. He'd been sorely missed and we awaited his stories of Hashing with Tinker in Bangkok and travels throughout Asia and Ireland. Bondo was already sharing his home brew with the pack as I pulled into the parking lot beside the Lodge. A quick swig and we were off on the road behind the restaurant. I overheard the Hare telling Pussy and Dog Meat that they could short-cut the trail by following the first intersecting trail and heading towards the highway. Pussy was showing signs of a baby bump and Dog Meat complained that the last time she was here, she ran for an hour and never did see flour or the pack.

At the first check I found myself beside Shemale and we both followed flour northerly until a check near the circle on West Butterfly Way. I check right and he went straight finding true trail. By the time I got back on trail, most of the pack was in front of me, so I bush-whacked across a small stream and out to the field just before the path to the golf course on Great Road, where I found another check. Trail went right, crossing the Moshassuck River before heading easterly. I was with Shemale again, and he went straight at the top of the hill towards Sherman Avenue. The rest of the pack was nowhere to be found or heard, so I went left again, crossing a hill and finding flour on a rock. Thinking the Beer Stop may be laid near the old Lime Rock Quarry, I continued northerly only to hear Shemale calling "RU?". Turning around I call OnOn and followed along the trail I had just run, back to the flour and followed that out towards Rte 146. I could hear the pack off in the distance and found the beer stop after crossing a small stream and uphill.

I"m pretty sure Amish had a beer stop here recently, but since my memory is not what it once was, it was all new to me. Pussy and DM did not follow directions, and so were almost last in. That spot was reserved for Shemale, WHO complained that there was no flour. The beer stop was just behind the office park and the sounds of traffic on 146 almost drowned out our singing. Not to be out done, WHO increased volume, and we would sing songs until the beer was gone. We then made our way out to the office park and back down Breakneck Hill Rd to The Lodge.

The Circle was formed on the dirt road behind the parking area, where we had encountered the first check. Down-downs were given to the Hare, Backsliders and others. The run was rated a positive zero for new territory. Retard tried to sing a song, but was interrupted by Rusty because he was getting help with the Barcelona song. Hare drank a beer for Pussy since she is preggy and the Hashit went to Ass Quack for leading the pack, off flour, through the swamp and alost loosing a bimbo. We then went into the Lodge and, as usual, they appreciated our return, singing and tip.
That's all I got.