The Mammories Day Hash
Run # 1469
Date May 26, 2014
Location: Break Heart Pond, Arcadia Park, RI
Weather: Sunny and warm
The Pack: OOzing, WHO, Basket, Amish, Heath, Dog Meat, Bondo, Buddy, Donkey, Pubic, WIPOS, Ass Quack, Crabby Shag, Rusty, Crotchy, Pussy Galore, Luxury Box, Hairy, Just Chris. Just Mike, Tinker and Short Shorts, Flo Balls and Pissonya
Backsliders and Babies: Wee Balls, Mrs. Wee Balls, Wee Wee Balls
Shemale wanted to serve the Hash his wiener(s), so he asked to Hare on the holiday (volunteering is alive in Rhody). He packed his flour, beer, hot dogs, orange food, sarcasms and chose Beyond Hope's favorite spot, Break Heart Pond. If anyone remembers last year (how could we forget?), when Shemale set trail not far from here, but about 3 miles deeper into Arcadia where Rusty decided to not follow directions and found out the hard way, that the bridge was down and he'd have to drive 5 miles around the detour. Luckily (or unluckily depending upon your prospective and appreciation of a Shemale trail) he arrived in time for the start.
Bondo was sharing his beer with the Hash, as we arrived, and set the bar pretty high for quality, quantity and total enjoyment. Unfortunately for so many uninitiated, the high alcohol content can cause one to do what one does not normally do under different circumstances. Silly Walks and Talks were rampant. Bondo's dog Buddy wanted to get into the act and wrapped his leash around Dog Meat, bringing her to the ground with a thud. Just Dave pulled out a flashlight and checked her eye dilation and said she'd live. WHO knew you could do more with a flashlight than find flour and the beer stop?
The Hare's directions included the type and quality of flour, RIH3 regular trail marking and two beer stops. We started out of the parking lot heading northerly along the western edge of the pond. The trouble with this type of trail is you can't short-cut, but on the other hand you don't have to follow the silly trail along the water's edge and run the main trail. Most of the pack went towards the water and along the fisherman's path on the water. Flo and I ran straight up the main road until we hit flour coming out of the woods and the FRB's, pissing and moaning about shiggy and shitty trail. At the intersection we went right, of course, over a couple bridges and started down the east side of the pond.
A good check here had a few of us confused. The trail should have followed the main road about the pond, but there were opportunities for the Hare to be creative and lay trail off farther east and have the beer stop someplace new. A few Wankers ran off and were soon back behind Flo and I as we carved a perfect trail onward. WHO got bamboozled as did Rusty and others, but it don't take to much smarts to know a shit trail when you see it. It wasn't long before we crossed over a feeder stream and the Beer Check. Here, WeeBalls, Mrs Balls and Wee Wee Balls along with Dog Meat and Pissonya were standing proud with the Hare. There's no reason to run if the beer is right here. Unfortunately, it was smack dab in the middle of the trail, so we had to contend with families walking along enjoying nature interrupting our little song fest.
With the beer finished, we continued our clockwise tour of the lake to the start and the circle. Beer was brought into the woods just behind our cars for some sort of privacy and so as not to teach the children, splashing in the pond, some new words. Bondo gave it a 12 Fuck, but most of us were a bit disappointed, with as much opportunity to find new trails, the Hare chose to make it easy for himself and the lame, lazy and those with child. Backsliders Weeballs, and Bondo got a down-down as did virgin Just Mike and brother Just Chris for bringing family into the Hash. Hashit went to OOzing for complaining about the trail. After Swing Low, we pulled out the grills and had Shemale Wieners and more beer.
Life is good, and that's all I got. B3