Location: High Rock Road, F. Gilbert Forest, Fuxborro
Run #: 1480
Date: August 10, 2014
Hare: Hairy
Pack: Basket, WHO, Pubic, Shemale Man, Luxury Box, Donkey Punch, Crotch Tiger, Wee Balls, Amish, Heath, Retard, WIPOS, OOzing, Ass Kwack, Sleeping Booty, Tinker, Short Shorts, Bondo, Buddy, Bondo's Bitch, Just Alex, Smart Aleck
Hashshit: Tinker
Scribe: Basket

There are some that will say, "There is no virgin territory left in F. Gilbert Forest", but I'm pretty sure I found a few feet of it and those that ran the trail said there was way too much of it.

Tonight's Hare decided to lay this trail without the help of his pretty girlfriend and roommate. I suppose he just need some time alone after reading this article in the Times. Whatever his motives, the trail was going to be a long slog that would not be good for man nor beast.

As the pack grew in the parking lot under the cell towers, Bondo shared his (now famous) IPA and conversations went from "I can't believe we are here again." to thoughts about WHO's upcuming Chocorua event. As the clock ticked closer to the 6:30 bell, Hashers were seen scratching the dry earth like herd of wildebeest preparing for the migration.

It was clear, at least to some of us, that the dry weather would not leave much in the way of liquid refreshment for the dogs of the Hash, so I filled up a quart of water for the journey and carried it for the duration of the trail. The pack followed High Rock Trail to the first check, then turning right heading southerly, it meandered along trails that were not found on the posted maps found throughout that park.

I decided it may be best for my busted knees, to make my own way and find a short-cut, so I continued straight on High Rock to the swamp. Looking at the maps, you can see only one trail around the swamp and I searched there for flour. Not finding any and not hearing the pack on the other side, I decided to take Wolf Meadow Trail towards the western edge of F Gilbert to see if the Hare set a circle-jerk back there from the start.

As I ran along W Meadow, I spied flour and then Ass Kwack, WHO had been on trail and said it was a long shit-show, and I was lucky I didn't stay with the pack. At the next check I went right and AK left. I heard him call one, then two and he was soon out of earshot, so I turned around soon after, not finding any marks. When I caught up to AK, he told me the trail was true if you found a mark as the Hare did not lay any falsies. At the next check, I went left and AK right and I found flour and then the Beer Stop. AK arrived and we searched for the golden liquid that was the primary reason for being in this dry desolated area, but we found nothing.

As we called the pack on, I noticed a movement across the trail and Shemale hiding behind a tree. He had stolen the beer and relocated it in a vain attempt at being cute. (not an adjective associated with him).

Soon most of the pack arrive and we enjoyed the small amount of beer for such a large gathering. OOzing was one of the last to arrive and he got the last gulp. Bondo, Amish and Short Shorts decided the trail was too long and boring so they went straight on to the cars. When the beer and singing was done, we made our way to the circle.

Here, Bondo joined us but Amish decided he had had enough and left, while SS rested in her car. Complaints were rampant, and comments about the trail being too long, too short, too dry, not enough Bimbos, not enough beer at the BS and too many to mention in this short missive. A rating of negative 69 was given, and probably higher than he should have received. Down-downs were administered to the guilty and slackers, then most travelled to The Chieftain for Liver and Onions. That's all I remember and think it's mostly close to the facts.