The Shemale Wants Us to be Happy Hash
Run #1484, Sept 8, 2014
Hare: Shemale Man
Location: Park n Ride off Rte 95 exit 7
Weather: 70's, Clear
Present: Amish, Heath, Rusty, Dr. WHO, Bondo, Fuck Buddy, Ass Quack, Crabby Shag, Pussy Galore, Pussy Ivy, Oozing, WIPOS, Crotch Tiger, Basket, Just Mickey has a new name POP(?) (Pass on Pussy? from the Dragon Boats last Saturday), Who Wants My Johnson, Sleeping Booty, Bondo's Bint,
Visitors: Bryce from Newport not Bruce from Australia or his brother Bruce.
After all these years we're finally figuring out Shemale. He's been so misunderstood for so long, it's comforting to know he a really nice guy. The trail started out of the park n ride just at 6:30 and went through the sand pits around Phelps Pond. A good check near the swamp at the east side of the pond had everyone confused, except Amish. He continued easterly to the open fields and found flour on the trails along the highway, that eventually led southerly and crossed Division road. The trail now led by Crabby, went deeper into the Big River, crisscrossing the New London Turnpike a number of times before wading through a swamp and back into the sand pits, where the beer stop was found.
It wasn't easy finding flour if you were short-cutting or following someone WHO was short-cutting, or did not have the patience to continue for a mile after the check to find the next mark. Since the Hare did not set the In-Trail, half the pack (9) were hopelessly lost. They desperately tried to find the beer stop by running down NLT to the end of the fence. Here, POP(?) and Bondo were returning after finding no flour for miles, and not hearing the pack singing. Disappointed, we all turned back to the start and enjoyed some Bondo Beer.
Meanwhile, back at the beer stop, somewhere just past our turn-around point, so say the Hare, Home-brew, yellow food and a very few songs were enjoyed by the remaining Hash. There was a lot of bragging about this year's Dragon Boats. Rusty boasted how he and WHO taught all the young kids from ShapeUppers how to paddle. It's a sad day when the RIH3 has to abuse the young and uninitiated to our sport, but unfortunately it's all about the money...isn't it WHO?
The beer finished, they worked their way northward, crossing Division Road again, and along NLT back to Phelps Pond. The circle was formed initially at the top of the hill above the lake, then the Hare along with OOzing took the cooler to the shoreline. Ass Quack was first to crack and got himself a beer, but returned to the good guys at the top of the hill, but just to show he had a beer and we did not. Eventually we all caved in and joined the pack together again. The Hare got a DD for a short trail for some, a little longer for others, and for helping out Sleeping Booty. She auto-hashed due to the twisted ankle last week. There was no consideration for Basket. The Hare brought good home-brew, there were no bugs and trail was rated a positive .69. Rusty should have gotten a DD for bragging about the damned Dragon Boat Kids and almost got Hashit, after Basket found he signed the Hashit weeks ago, but that award went to Basket for doing his best to write the Hash Trash. The Virgin from Newport got his down-down an told the joke of a nun with no legs or arms called Bob, but forgot to throw her in the lake. We then went to Woods Tavern for a bite, some beer and went homeward. Shemale didn't go to the pub because he was sick and wished he'd have stayed in bed, as a matter of fact, so do a few of us (9) WHO didn't make the beer stop.
That's all I got.