Another Virgin Lay Hash
Run #1499, DEC 22, 2014
Hares: POP
Location: Arcadia Road
Weather: 41 and Sunny
Present: Donkey Punch, Rusty, POP, Klingon, Basket, Glutenless Maximus, Crotch Tiger, Amish Ithead, AssQuack and dog, Oozing, Wee Balls, WIPOS, Fecal, Just Lauren, and few others (Donkey never supplied the attendance list).
Two / Tree Timers: Just Lauren
Virgin: Just KiKi, Just Chris w/ suspenders
Hashit: Wee Balls

Let's see if I can recall the evening virgin hash and antics correctly. We started off in a dirt parking lot of Arcadia Rd. the directions where somewhat accurate and hashers trickled in slowly. It was a surprise to see Crotchy arrive at least 10 minutes early to a hash, she is usually 10 - 20 minutes late. Virgins where introduced and I believe they were tidily winked into cuming to the hash by the hare. Chalk talk was told to the virgins and we were off promptly at 6:30 am heading northwest.

We immediately find flour on a trail and start heading southeast near the water. We spend a total of 10 minutes, maybe 15 in some shiggy, pathetic. Then we find ourselves in some type of drainage organization system or a cranberry bog for all I know. Checks where marked incorrectly, flour was everywhere and the hashers where all following Basket, by the time we got the call for true trail. First stop was the whiskey check, Jameson's and it reminded me when I was a wee tike. Not bad, I was glad it was mot some type of Maple Bacon whisky. The stop was on the lakes edge with a full flow over the waterfall. Continuing on, we headed west around the lake, marks where everywhere and easy to follow. Then we come across a "BN", Fecal decides to stop and look for beer, but I inform him it is only a Beer Near, not a sign for Beer. As a majority of the seasoned hashers continue on trail looking for the "B" (correct hash mark for Beer). The others sit back at the "BN", which is now a "B" since someone (cough Donkey) removed the "N" and consume crappy summer pilsners. We were finally called back to the first beer stop and enjoyed the same pilsners and songs where sung. Eventually WIPOS appeared once we finished off the beer.

Out of Beer out of here, we head east around the lake on the out trail, completely pissed off. Why you ask? One, this would be the turd time we ran the out trail (once looking for the "B", then on the way back to the "BN" and now out again). Secondly, the piss poor beer selection. But to our surprise the virgin POP has planted a correct "B" for beer on the west side of the lake and we enjoy a second beer stop. This beer stop had good selection of beer and salsa for the tortilla chips from the first beer stop. Beers where drank songs where sung.

Back at the circle the virgin hare is popped. We all give points for no Bondo and no WHO and the overall total score falls somewhere around 69. Crotchy gives an amazing performance questioning the backsliders and the backsliders sing a terrific song. Virgins are punished and boobs are seen by all except Wee Balls, still not sure how I missed them. Hashit accusations are slung at each other and it is given to Wee Balls, because either he has a small dog or because he was talking. In the x-mas spirit Donkey dresses as Santa and distributes out gift shots to all.

PS, the hashit has grown to an unmanageable size of ridiculous items.
PSS, I am putting the toilet seat to us as I type this.
PSSS, You will probably never see the hashit again.
OnOn at Dan's Place.