January 26, 2014, RIH3 Run # 1504
The Burns Supper Hash
Location: James V. Turner Reservoir Seekonk, MA/Rumford, RI Border Rd
Hare: Robby OOzing
Pack: WHO, Amish, Hairy, Santa Clit, WIPOS, OboeN'er and Basket.
Temp: Snow covered with scampering mink
The Blizzard of 2015 was about to blow into our neck of the woods, despite the warnings of doom and gloom, bridge closings and a repeat of the Blizzard of '78, a few stalwarts found the parking lot with just a few inches of snow. Snow was falling, but it wasn't going to hinder our trail, except, possibly, the Hare, WHO was going to set it live. He said he had already set it tree times, but no one believed him. Was this going to be a total shit show, a repeat of a WIPOS trail, or a boring slog through ever deepening snow, with a drive home just before the roads were officially closed? It was hard to guess at the beginning. I pulled into the lot beside WHO, Amish and OOzing as we enjoyed a beer and discussed the political woes of the day, when in the lot pulls Just Kerry, and Just Lauren. Excitement was running high until WIPOS arrived just before our DFL, Hairy the Haggis Maker made a sliding stop just before the bridge embankment.
The trail started out with a bad start, along Rte 114A going north, but quickly made a right after the bridge and followed a path along the head water of Ten Mile River. The flour was lightly tainted with some kind of orange coloring, just enough, so I would not be able to see it, and was delicately placed, in very small amount on the side of trees. Often we lost trail and found ourselves in what could have been the lowlands of Scotland, as we ran toward the reservoir. We continued clockwise in one, maybe two inches of snow covered, leaf riddled paths out to Rte 153, Newman Avenue. The road was cleared down to a light dusting, but it was still pave road and WHO complained about the amount of pavement. He was in the lead, however, so he was rightly proud of himself, until Amish sped past him like a plow. I was in the rear with (not of) Just Kerry and Just Lauren, when off to our left running out of the marshy area beside Central Pond, came two little mink. They started out to cross the road, which would beg the question, until the saw me not more than a few yards away, and decided to try it a little later. We continued up to the end of the bridgework and made a right, continuing our clockwise route around the res.
Hairy was in front of me as we looked for flour, and finding none, we followed a gimpy foot tracks through the trees. We soon spied a fire in the distance, and I started sing Dillon's song, "Must be OOOOzing." A jug of IPA and a few bottles was found with some crunchy orange stuff. This is the first time in about 10 years that we would not run out of beer at an OOzing Hash. Songs were sung and a second beer was enjoyed as we saw a shadow move between us and the water's edge. It was WIPOS and he came into the group, grabbed a beer and was soon back in the dark, by himself, doing whatever he does by himself, on the ice covered pond. He came back soon after relieving or enjoying himself and grabbed another beer just as the festivities started to wind down. We cleaned up, pissed on the fire and started back on trail.
We made our way back along the pond, crossing a few well placed bridges, before arriving just below the parking lot and our cars. OOzing pulled the cooler out and we all joined up on the large wooden overlook. The comments were not overly positive, with repeated trail, little snow, invisible marks, and WIPOS, Basket and WHO. Positives were tree ladies, 4 tits to 6 dicks is not a bad average, perfect weather, no Bondo, no Klingon, No Shemale, nor any of the other Wankers that cross our paths on Monday night, including Gluetless , WHO was turned back by traffic and weather. The run was, none-the-less, rated a positive .69. The Hare did half a Down-down and sang "I don't want to join the Army." Discussion soon followed on naming and Just Lauren was sent off. We grilled Just Kerry for some dirt. As roommates at college, you'd have thunk she would have coughed-up some good shit, but she kept tightlipped, possibly worried about a retaliatory strike. WHO suggested she should be named too, and she joined her sister at the end of the wooden trail.
As usual, we started out with enthusiasm of our task at hand. A number of good names for Lauren were suggested, mostly with a 'Mouthful' related theme, then we reverted back to old habit of too many changes and poor suggestions, until Hairy said she plays the Oboe. Not that she actually does, but it did offer a way out of our predicament. OboeN'er was soundly agreed upon. Then Kerry, WHO had earlier said she cums once a year. Feeling bad for Weeballs and knowing that there would not be another WeeWee Balls, OOzing suggested Santa Clit. In a effort to not make it a 10 minute discussion, changing our minds and wanting to get to the pub before the heavy snow fall, we agreed.
Names were made official, with OboeN'er and Santa Clit. DD's were administered and discussion of Hashit was next. WIPOS was the favorite and he took it like a man. DD to the Hashit and religion were administered, then we drove off to the only pub open, The Dublin Rose in Seekonk. The parking lot was packed, and disturbingly, there were more than a few plows parked outside. Hopefully they were putting down some food before a long night and not too many pints.
The Haggis was lightly sprinkled with a single malt and we enjoyed the beast with a Wee Deoch an Doris. Other food was delivered and finishing that and our last beer of the night we adjourned. We left and started home just as the fury of the storm started up. By the time I pulled into my drive way, there was over a half foot of snow on the ground with a strong wind blowing it around. OOzing texted all to make sure we were tucked in safe and sound, and we rested for the clean up on Tuesday.
That's all I got.