Run #1609: Bondo does it in the snow Hash
Time: 6.30 pm
Date: January 9, 2017
Hare: Bondo Jovi
Start: 157 Meadow Road. Silly!
Pack: WIPOS, O'Boner, Just Pat/Butler, OOzing, Bill the Beak, the Red Snapper, Just Marta, Just Mark, Just Scott/Just the Head, Dog Meat, Just Big Shit, Buttplug
Bondo said he'd done a recce and found virgin territory. Seems the northbound bike path extension from Woonsocket/Blackstone has finally made it north to Millville. This is a project, our very own, Lurch was involved with 20 years ago. It was to make it all the way to Worcester, someday. With buying property and getting right of ways it's been a bit of a problem. Now Bondo wants to take advantage of the new trail, with its bridges and tunnels. It all seems like a grand idea, but that'd take a bit of work and we are talking about Bondo, you know.
A small and less than enthusiastic group gathered in Bondo's garage. It included, Just Pat, Just Mark (Bondo's nephew), Butt Plug, Just Scott (to be named later) and me. Dog Meat went into Bondo's house to see JBS and maybe try out the new (outdoor) hot tub. We were all settling down for a beer, commenting on Bondo's condition, when he said Bill the Beak was inside and he'd been drinking for a couple house 'entertaining' his guests. Just then the Red Snapper and her daughter, Just Marta, popped in. Marta is a tall, strikingly beautiful, long legged daughter of the Red Snapper and Beyond Hope. It was a mother/daughter bonding outing and Beak was brought along for the ride....he didn't mind very much from my point of view. Old times were discussed, including the drive back to the Pines in Westerly when the Red Snapper stood up in the sunroof on Rte 1 after our Relay Run back in the early 90's. She decided to cool herself off with the breeze blowing her breasts and she said it was refreshing. Of course that was pre-Hopeless by a few hours. Then Bondo mentioned the time he was driving his vanagon and she was changing into her running gear. The dirty bugger positioned his rear view mirror just right and got an eye full. She said they're not as perky after 3 kids, but Just Marta disagreed.
More hashers arrived as the 6:30 start neared, including OOzing and WIPOS, so Bondo gave his version of a chalk-talk...via megaphone. Not that he needs help, but it was fairly dramatic, especially with his slurring and cursing. The flour on the floor identified how typical RIH3 marks are made, but after the long version was given, he said all that white flour would be found under the snow. Instead he used small sticks with a blue ribbon stapled to them for marks and a stick with 3 ribbons would be a check. He said they're be at least one fire, so everyone WHO's been on a BJ Hash before, knew it'd wind up at his son's house, but we played stupid and ran trail, all except OOzing that is.
The trail went out the driveway and right to the first intersection. A check was found and it didn't take a rocket scientist to know he didn't set out any more sticks then he needed, so when a stick was found heading toward Winter St we all worked our way in that direction, along the semi-plowed street. That's right, incase you didn't know, this was going to have a lot of pavement. Most of us went straight for a couple intersections to Gaskell St and left Singleton and the mills. OOzing decided he'd had quite enough and went left on Winter St towards Cold Spring with a shortcut to Jovi Juice's house round the corner.
We missed a check at the bridge over the Blackstone and wondered up and down River St, only to make our way back to the other side of the river and found sticks along the bank going into Cold Spring Park. It wasn't long before we joined OOzing and Bondo and Buddy around the fire with a cold beer. We tried to burn Bondo in it, but he successfully stuffed the long dead Christmas tree in and it gave us a very bright and warm glow that paired with the beer nicely. Songs were sung and Fergie tried to impress daughter with her familiarity of our best ditties. The 'C' word came up once or twice and she graciously controlled throwing beer in our faces. There was a time when you didn't dare say it, even in song, without wearing a face full of beer that usually found its way into my eyes. I think that'd be a one reason I've got seein' issues. AnyWHO, beer and fire was extinguished so we decided to work out way back to Bondo's.
As we circled up, someone realized that Just Pat/the Butler Did It was not with us, and had not been seen since we left at the start. It was decided to enjoy the beer and circle and if need be the On On, with food and more beer, then if he did not show we'd send Bondo out to find him. Luckily he did show up with O'Bone'R in hand and we started rating the run. It was, of course, a very low negative, but the Snapper and daughter protested, as they said they were mathematicians and rated it a positive 6.9. I don't think they understand Hashmath. With everyone in and food waiting, we went inside and joined Beak, Dog Meat and Just Big Shit.
Fergie once again tried to sing Little Red Wing. Beak gave a couple versions of Wanking on the Planking and all added their verses. Just Scott has been practicing and he gave us his version of a couple off-key songs, and made a comment about just getting the tip into something. So he was named Just the Tip. Another naming was discussed, that of Just Marta. Spawn of the Red Snapper was mentioned, as well as Get Out. This was said while mother was in a squatting position, and believed to be of historical nature. There was plenty of more beer and food and singing, until it was decided Beak had to go back to Tiverton. We piled the old bugger into the Snapper's van and the tree of them left. Then one by one the remaining wankers packed it up and headed home.
It was generally an okay Hash. Since OOZzng said he'd not waste the time doing a write-up, I thought I'd put pen to paper before I forgot what happened...and this is it. If I've missed any important facts, please keep it to yourself.