Date: July 31 st 2017
Place: Cuttyhunk Brook Preserve, Exeter
Run # 1638
Hares: Amish and Meat Wallet
Pack: Who, Basket, Rusty, Oozie, Pubic, Donkey, Fecal, Etti Clit, Just Kim, WIPOS, SheMailMan, Hampster, Crotchy, O'Boner, Booty, WHY Shitoed (Cameo).
Citizens on trail: I'm looking at the ground and his missus
Hashit: Rusty

The directions were spot on, even Crotchy got to the start prior to 6:turdy. The parking lot was a tad tight, Fecal gave some directions as cars arrived and he was heckled with additional suggestions as he tried to maximize use of the space. Imagine a rectangle that is about 45 feet deep and 60 feet wide, it was filled to the brim with cars, nobody wanted to be late because the instructions said you would have to park in the udder lot which was 100 yds. down the road. Some of us arrived at 6ish for some pre-lube alas there was NUN. Donkey seemed anxious to get away and moved his watch tree minutes ahead, WHO knew his game and reined him in on several occasions as we neared the instructions from the Hare.

Amish stood and gave said directions, seconds before that Meat Wallet arrived, parked and handed the hare a packet of Solo Cups. Wait a fucking minute, this means that the beer stop could contain jugs of beer and no cups? Basket wasn't bothered by this, let's drink from the jug he said exactly at the same time as the rest of us said let's drink from the jug. Next thing you know Donkey & Pubic are arriving, Rusty ushered them to a prime parking spot that would have blocked everyone but they declined and parked on the street instead. Some of us shivered at the thought of parking in the street, what about the parking ticket warden, the tow truck etc. etc. We had forgotten we were in the middle of nowhere so there was little chance of a tow truck or anything else. Another car arrived, a BMW (oooohhhh) and it parked on the street in front of Donkey - visiting hashers?? Alas No, it was a couple out for a nice jaunt only to find the RIH3 on site-..she was amused & he looked at the ground (consult Fecal for an explanation on this as I missed it at the circle).

It's time said WHO, the pack was away.

We soon found a check, She Mail went straight (oxymoron), the pack went left. Left it was, trail soon became bushwhacking and as with every Amish trail it twists and turns like a figure 8 and you eventually get to a point where you have absolutely no idea where you are. We made it through tick bushes, torney bushes, and many a large rock. These rocks were of mountain goat standard, 'twas not an easy task to traverse said rocks but the hare with sixty-nine million dollars' worth of steel rod in his legs saw no issue with bouncing gracefully from rock to rock.

We continued to a point where it was impossible to find trail because of the weird twists and turns that the trail made, comments abounded about how it resembled a Donkey trail. Next Ting you know Donkey shows up and points the pack in the direction of trail. WTF, was heard from the front of the pack. Booty was also starting to make her way to the front at this point, just a jaunt in the woods for her after doing a 69 mile walk delivering mail earlier today. It was at this point that reference to the postal service and the size of the chalk marks was mentioned, we have had the WIPOS post-it run tags on trail, but most of the flour marks tonight resembled the size of a 69 cent stamp.

It twisted, it turned, we went over a dry river bed (with rocks), we climbed, we found brilliant places for beer stops but we kept on going without a clue as to where we were. We came across the couple that we had seen at the start, they were still not interested in joining us.

Trail brought us into some shiggy, we meandered through the stuff, basically bushwhacking following 69 cent stamp marks, but when one is in search of beer does one really need any marks, small or not? The 'B' was found by Booty, and the beer behind that blatantly obvious rock was also found by Booty. The pack gathered around and came in from several directions, Just Kim was seen casually holding a large bottle of water and had that wondering look about what was in the orange food bags. A few songs were sung, the blood from WHO's legs was discussed and Basket suggested that we all have an aspirin a day on the Friday before each run. Cult??, say it ain't so. I can't take drinking water and popping pills at the same time. Right around now Oozie arrived at the 'B'swiftly followed by O'Boner, there was no grand entry song, there was nobody behind them but to make Oozie feel better we told him that we were waiting for him to arrive before we drank anything.

Songs were sung, Etti Clit moved off the ant pile, garlic covered orange food was passed around, as was the 'Dog Finch', there was a smell of pizza but it was the goldfish crackers, it was still fun and the rolling waters of the stream behind us took our minds off everything.

When all was said & done at the 'B'the hare told us to cross the stream to trail, take a right and follow that back to the cars. This we did, and true it was.

Circle started, WIPOS had a bag of beer delivered to the circle. Trail ratings were given and WHO's internal calculator said it was a Negative 69.

Backsliders included Etti Clit & Booty, they were questioned by Crotchy. Why Shitoed failed to show.

As time came to pass and so did the beer, we moved on to cook our own steak or not''..till next time this is just another hash run with a different story, and every hash run has a different story. Rusty
OnOn till the beer runs dry.