Run #1639: The 2017 Chocorua Recovery Hash
Time: 6.30 pm
Date: Aug 7, 2017
Hare: Ass Quack
Start: Sandy Point Beach, Portsmouth
Pack: Led by Rusty, Basket, Crotchy, WIPOS, Hamster, Sleeping Booty, OOzing, Fuwangii, WHO, Shemale Man, Finass Cuntsultant, with a cameo by Crabby, Hutch and the elusive Krisco Kid
Hashit: Basket

This was billed to be a kayak Hash, so the old farts that ran the long ball buster at Chocorua, two days before and had imbibed a bit more than the doctor ordered, could rest and repair the weary bodies. It could have been a pleasant float while enjoying a beer or tree. Suddenly and without warning, at noon the day of, our newest mommy, Crabby Shag, tossed the idea and posted a comment, on RIH3 Face Book. The float was cancelled and would be replaced by short trail along the shore. She feared for the father of her child, with a forcast of thunderstorms arriving around 7PM. As I pulled into the beach parking lot, with 2 kayaks on my car, not one other kayak was found, even though OOzing and Shemale both had an interest in boating it. The storm never arrived and we were blessed with a light misty rain. Pathetic. When the Hash is ruled by mommies there's no hope for injury. Take Chocorua. WHO was in charge and he let Rusty cut open a bag with a serrated knife. We all know how great that ended.

Some prelube Captains Daughter was enjoyed as we waited for 6:30 to arrive. Last in was Crotch Tiger with Chewie. Pussy G was away and let CT bring her dog to the Hash. Chewie was a perfect addition and promptly urinated at the feet of Crabby. He was marking the person WHO decided it was not pleasant enough to float today. The pack left on time, with two Hashers not yet in the lot. Shemale led the pack along the path to the beach, and then left along the shoreline. We were mostly walking as the wet rocks were more than a bit slippery. A check at the stream bed led a few of us up toward the Glen Manor House. This was false and the pack joined together, crossing the brook, heading upstream until OOzing found an X. The pack regrouped back downhill, crossed the stream for the tird time and followed marks up to the field around the horse stables. WHO was leading a group towards the woods, in hopes of finding the Beer Stop, but was turned around by the FRB's finding another False Trail. Now the DFL's, Fineass, Hamster, Crotchy and the Hare, were leading the pack toward Glen Farm Rd, where we continued on (mostly) pavement, ending at the crack house and the "B".

We searched for the precious liquid all around the dilapidated structure. Shemale was scared to go inside claiming he didn't bring his torch. Some of ceiling had fallen down and the exterior was covered in tags. The roof was in dire straights and all the windows and doors were gone. Beer was found uphill and brought back to the lovely stone house in need of a little TLC. Some songs were sung and beer and chips enjoyed, when suddenly across the stream and uphill, as female was heard to call, "RU?" It was Booty followed by WIPOS. The entire pack was back together and a smoking circle was formed just upwind of the non-smokers. The 5 to 6 ratio was mostly unpleasant, but in consideration that they'll most likely die from the vile habit before some (not me) of us, it was somewhat comforting. Beer finished, we continued back to the roadway and the beach parking lot.

The circle was formed on the beach. I donned the tube I brought for anyone that wanted to float behind my kayak, and was accosted during a Chinese Fire Drill, mostly by Shemale Douchbag. The Hare did his DD and sang for his pathetic attempt at obeying his wife's direction. Backslider, Fuwangii, explained how he's been absent due to his trip to Japan with his new wife. That didn't really explain the last 7 months, but we were somewhat satisfied with his reply. The discussion about Hashit was swift and direct, albiet misdirected. It was given to me and as I stood in the circle for my DD, Shemale and Booty joined me in the tube. I think they should have gotten it for volunteering to join me, but my suggestion fell of deaf ears. The circle ended and we left for Fieldstones Pub, where we were joined by the Krisco Kid. He promised to join us more often and is thinking about taking POP's Hash in a few weeks. God help us.

PS Rusty was upset that I initially forgot to give him credit for running with us on this Hash. You don't see Hampster complain that I didn't mention his dog, do you? If it were possible, I'd like to give him the Hashit for his complaint. Pathetic! Maybe the Hashit from Chocorua will do that trash and we can compare WHO is more accurate.