HASH: The Valentine Bondo, Love Me Do, Hash<br/>
HARES: Amishithead (Nittany Cubs Love) and MeatWallet (Matrimonial Love)<br/>
WHERE: Rome Point (RIH3 Loves Thy Trails)<br/>
SCRIBE: Oozing Syphilitic Dictaphone (Self-love)<br/>

HASHERS: Basket B3 (Forbidden Love); Dr WHO (Rectum Love): WIPOS (Kevlar Love); Frozen Fanny (Fanny Love); Just the Tip (Young Love); Rusty (Puh-tay-toes Love); Y Shit Toed (Weird Love), Fancy Pants (Uber Love) and of course, Yours Truly<br/><br/>

Temperature-low 20s with a chilly wind that ensured, only the bravest , or the dumbest would turn up for this well-trodden trails hash.<br/><br/>

It was a Wednesday night, Burrilville circa 1986. Basket told DogMeat he was going out climbing, but could not find a Rock Spot anywhere, as it was years before they opened. Dejected, he returned home, only to find his beloved in bed with, guess WHO?? Even more dejected now, he went out driving the dark streets of Woonsocket, looking for forbidden love. As Basket recollects with ever so sharp a memory, he was lured to the banks of the Blackstone River by the heavenly harmonies of three nymphets enticing him with sonnets of everlasting love. However, rumor has it that he was actually enticed by a harsh guttural howling with a repetitive refrain, which he learned later was a multiple littany of f—ks! That he was immediately smitten leading to the beginning of an over 40 year old affair of forbidden love.<br/><br/>
Bondo would follow Basket on his adventures on Monday nights. Even though he was killed in a bar when he was only tree, Bondo seemed to exude a certain spirituality, even an aura of immortality(or was it immorality? but I’m relying on Baskets memory as I digress), he became to be known as the Bodishattva. He supplied the Rhody hash with liberal supplies of holy water, paired with his world-famous road kill chill. Later on, he would give up his Monday night frivolities, for a more cerebral pursuits, such as golf, and er gardening.<br/><br/>

Bondo was known for setting some great trails. Of late, he laid trail from Meadow Road several times, like beating(off) a dead horse. Amish, he of the Nittany Cubs love-another form of forbidden love- decided to follow in those hallowed footsteps and set trail at Rome Point, where the hash has been at least 69 times! The local community, being used to seeing a bunch of weirdos run, and sing rude songs, have resorted to repelling the hash. They have chased us with their dogs, left notes on cars(ask Rusty) to not come back, leaving dog poo all over the trails as well as attempts to steal the beer. Their latest attempt involved the digging of man-size pot-holes in the parking lot. This caught some of us off-guard, including Oozy and MW who unknowingly drove full-speed through them damaging their front shocks. Only FF drove niftly and with stealth around them. It was almost as if a divine entity like the Bodhishatva warned her. <br/><br/>
Maybe it was the pot-holes that turned away most of the hash.<br/><br/>

Nevertheless the pack, sans Y Shitoed who arrived late, took off the down the main trail. The first check took most of the pack to a falsie, but Dr WHO, WHO knows it all, kept going straight. At the next check, most trails have taken the left. However, this trail went right through bushwhacking. WHO kept going on. The pack trogged their way through briars, and eventually to a trail. At the next check, Oozing and B3 took the falsie and ran into Y Shitoed. Circling back, the trail went eastwards towards the ocean, where WHO and Rusty decided they would go straight to the beach. The rest of the pack, with JTP, Fancy Pants and YST leading, Oozing following ran into the Hare, who stood there sniggering. The true trail led away from the sea. The hare watched as B3 and WIPOS dredged their way out the woods, and Rusty and WHO come up from the beach looking sheepish, Rusty fixing his shirt, and WHO smoking a cigar. The rest of the pack, incl FF and MW followed.<br/><br/>
The rest of the trail circled back and forth, then down past a power line trail, with a barely used, overgrown trail with briars. The hare did promise “little prick love” on the trail!<br/><br/>
A few more checks were navigated, including Oozy having to call back JTP who was running so fast he missed the true trail signs.<br/><br/>
And eventually to the BN.<br/>
The BN was next to the second biggest rock in RI. Bondo had a beer check at the biggest one, in Woonsocket.
Beer was had. Songs were sung. WHO and Amish, unable to contain themselves and obviously overcome by this LOVEly occasion, started singing the “We’re Off To see the Wildlife” song as Bondo impersonators. It was quite something. FF was so touched by the occasion, she sang a song herself! It took her dad over twenty years before he could sing one verse unaided! <br/><br/>
The pack headed back to the start, and circled up. Most rating was in the negatives, except for MW’s presence that gave it a sum total of positive ZERO!<br/><br/>
The hare handed out chocolates and personal valentine wishes to the pack, desperately trying to compensate for the short-comings of the trail.<br/><br/>
Down downs to the back-sliders(Y Shit Toed and MW), and hashit.<br/><br/>
Hash was unfairly awarded to Oozing for Bondo impersonating with blackface. No one believed poor Oozy.<br/><br/>

OnIn at Dans Carriage Tavern.<br/><br/>

Announcements about next weekends Ski Hash were made and B3 will be keeping a list of RSVPs to determine food etc.
<br/><br/>
Love,<br/>
The Hashit.<br/>