Fancy Pants's Virgin Lay
Run 1720 Feb 25, 2019<br/>
Hare: Fancy Pants<br/>
Location: Breakheart Pond<br/>
Weather: Cold, windy as fuck, with debris everywhere<br/>
Who was there: Who was there, and so were Basket, Oozing, Wipos, Rusty, Butler, PG, Pubic Housing, Head Hunter, Frosted Fanny, the Hare, and myself.<br/><br/>

I spent the first half of this run doubling back down 102 because the police had closed the road.  By the time I arrived to the woods I was a half hour late swerving around fallen branches from the windstorm when out of the woods comes a headlamp and then another and another and a...  The first came up to my car and it was Rusty telling me I was going the wrong way to get to the parking.  Either he was completely turned around in his mind, or entirely more likely, he was just making an elaborate ploy to sneak a look at my GPS while in the middle of trail. The pack passed, I went on and parked my car 3/4 of a mile down the road. I took a good look at the GPS myself and started off.  
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I was on true trail for the first twenty yards, hit the first check -which was marked in the opposite direction of where I ran over the pack- and doubled back.  I picked up an atv trail which looked like it was going the right direction, and sure enough it cut the 3/4 miles of road to a 1/4 mile.  I have no idea what trail did instead.  However, I'll imagine it was good since it delayed the pack for so long.  
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On the trail I came upon numerous marked checks while running catch up; but, I heard no voices in the woods.  Terrain was mostly on icy fireroads, and I remember thinking atleast we're running up and not down this glacier.  Eventually, trail veered off the cleared paths into a contrived bushwhack.  I lost the marks while whaking the bush.  But with a hope and a prayer I hollered out an R U and to my chagrin heard my first On On all night.  I cut straight to the voices to find PH and Fancy Pants now slipping down the damn glacial flow.  
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From here trail took a single turn to the beer check.  The pack was condensed and I arrived third in the middle of everyone.  I don't know what was supposed to happen on the bushwhack; but, I'll imagine it was good seeing as it did get the pack to the beerstop all at the same time.  There were captain's daughters to be slurped at the beer stop, an assortment of orange food, and wonderful singing.  
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Our throats quenched, we walked a short way back to the cars passing a nice wittle waterfall along the way.  At circle there was more lovely liquid of the captains daughter; more lovely lyrical ballets, including the Hare's ode to Who; and I'm quite sure there was a rating.  Well I've no idea what it was rated but I imagine it went negative based on how positive I imagine the other parts of the trail must have been.  Rusty and Oozing were strong contenders for hash shit (as always) but alas I recieved it.  I did my down down and all saw the new moon.
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The On in was at the cornerstone pub and resteraunt, where those who missed out could finally taste a captains daughter.
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On on,<br/> 
Just The Tip