Run # 1765<br/>
When: Jan 6 2020<br/>
First of the Year<br/>
Weather: Typical January weather: cold and dry<br/>
Where: Hyman Fine Elemetary School, Attleboro, MA<br/>
Hare: Hairy K<br/>
Hashers:  Who was there, and so were WIPOS, Rusty, Basket, Crotchy Tiger, Pussy Galore, Oozing, Pubic Housing, Donkey Punch, the visitors No Blow Bike Hoe, as well as No Blows Hoe, and a virgin Just Keith (aka Hairy's Pop).<br/>
Hashit: Just the Tip<br/><br/>

Lengthy Description:<br/><br/>

I got to the parking lot and had barely changed into my hoody and sweats when the hash was already taking off at a prompt 6:30.00.  Running into the woods in the direction of the pack I saw around the first bend the hare on the side of the trail with an improvised chalk talk laid out in front of him.  The marks before him we're nothing I hadn't seen before so I kept running, I certainly saw no such thing as a B combined with an arrow...  I caught Rusty at the first check.  He went left I went straight, It was false straight. I buschwaked over to check right, it was false right.  I intersected the pack back at the check and ran left where the trail quickly forked.  I ran hard left, it was false hard left. Finally, there was one way left to go and for all my mad dashing I brought up the rear of the pack.  After catching up to Rusty again there were some more checks and my luck at guessing the way thankfully got closer to 50:50.  No matter though, Rusty would still open a huge lead on me by taking a brilliant shortcut across a particularly devious section of trail. Oozing later referred to it as the Chinese dragon, and what a Chinese dragon that portion of trail was.  The FRB's ran left then back right then back left then so on and so forth etc etc etc.  While those behind laughed at our confusion and bushwhacked straight across our serpentine path.  The Chinese dragon led us to a swampy bush whack complete with the squelching of sinking sneakers.  Pass the swamp there was one last check and shortly after it a B with an arrow pointing to the right.  Following the arrow brought us to a pond.  Many searched for beer round the pond and naught was found.  Taking the hare for confused as to the RIH3 meaning of a B, I continued following the flour up a hill.  At the top of that hill, which would have been the tallest hill in RI if we hadn't been in Mass, there was another B.  This time the B was combined into the arrow into one strange brand new mark. (Do we call it a barrow?) I saw no beer at this second B.  I saw not even any flour in the direction the arrow pointed.  I took a piss and waited for everyone else to slog up the hill.  Most everyone arrived, not anyone found the beer.  Finally the hare showed up with a backpack of beer that he claims was right next to the B-arrow the whole time.  Drinking commenced and all was well with the hash, at least until the cold set in.  There were no checks on the rest of the run. <br/><br/>


In circle Hairy provided a beautiful rendition of the RI Thrashing Machine.  The visitors told a joke: "What's the difference between a chick pea, a garbanzo bean, and a nun?... I haven't had a garbanzo bean on my face.".  As back sliders Harry and I were made to sing, and having a hood where as Harry did not, I started up RI Cock.  Rusty tried to spit in Hairy's eye but missed and hit Donkey Punch.  When it was his turn the virgin, Just Kieth, started us on Amazing Grace.  He seemed shocked when the visitors were quick to finish it for him with hash improved lyrics.  There were many nominations for Hashit but I deserved it most for committing alcohol abuse.  So standing there under the halo of the streetlamps of Hymen elementary it felt only natural not to sing about whores getting very damp, but rather of hymens fried in seamen. 

<br/><br/>
TLDR<br/>
That's too long don't read for Basket. He had to look it up.<br/><br/>

Rating: an accurate -6.9<br/><br/>



On On,<br/>

Just The Tip