Run #1721: The Pandemic Pandmonium Hash<br/>
Time: 6:30 pm<br/>
Date: March 9, 2020<br/>
Hare: Fecal Veneer<br/>
Start: Mowry Fishing Area, Smithfield, RI<br/>
Pack: Basket, WIPOS, Amish Ithead, OOzing Ass Quack, Crotch Tiger, Pussy Galore, Just Pat<br/>
Hashit: OOzing<br/><br/>
Comment from the Hare:<br/>
GIVEN BASKET IS NO LONGER ACCEPTING MY CALLS, I HENCEFORTH WILL SUBMIT MY WRITE-UPS DIRECTLY TO THE MESSAGE BOARD (edited by Basket) <br/>
Comment by Basket: If OOzing would just return my emails he could attach them and save all of us some time and trouble, Wanker.<br/><br/>
The covid19 pandemic was upon us. The hare was getting live updates by the minute. No congregating of 250 individuals! Then Gov Gina announced it was 200! Then it was 150! The law will be enforced!<br/>
Done! The hare bought beer for 150 individuals, with a smattering of Captains Daughter mixed in for good measure.
Oh! The governor, as well as el presidente announce no non-essential gatherings. And social distancing. Immediately, 149 hashers decide against going to the hash.<br/><br/>
So, per Darwinian selection, 9 of the least intelligent hashers congregate at the start. Oozy thinking his gimpy gait and general slowness would keep him 6 feet away from the others; Basket thought his constant emitting of his anal effervescence would keep others at a social distance; AQ determined to use his athletic prowess to keep 6 feet a-BREAST of the pack, and Crotchy arrived exactly 6 minutes late to ensure the social distancing.
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The hare checked everyones temperature prior to the start. He also set half the trail with very valuable loo paper which he encouraged the pack to take along with them and keep to use in the upcoming apocalypse.<br/>
The trail took off right of the pond, across a bridge, only to lead into briars. This led to a dead end.<br/>
Basket called the pack back, and the other side of the pond, behind the warehouses, and onto the main road. Across Farnum Pike, and on trail meeting up with the cross-country trail. At this point, there were more marks, than covid-19 test kits. The trail zig zagged across the trails, first leading towards The Last Zone, and then away and behind more warehouses. At this point, the pack broke-up. The FRBs stayed on trail, keeping the promised 6ft distance. Oozing lagged behind and got lost. Basket decided to do some exploring on his own. WIPOS followed the hare, and shortcutted past the BN and was not heard from until much later.<br/><br/>
The trail circle-jerked back and to the BC which was a little off the path.<br/>
Separate beer for each was provided with little chance of cross-contamination as the hair put a condom on each of the beer cans.<br/>
No orange food was provided as 1) it allowed too much of touching each other, and 2) all the local grocers had run out of them to the apocalypso hoarders!<br/><br/>
Beer enjoyed, the pack  traipsed back to the start. Basket again, detouring himself, got ensnared in barbed wire and tripping, fell in a ditch. Seeing the light go crashing to the ground, AQ and Amish, ran over to where the light was last seen, and forgoing the surgeon-generals warning, broke the social distancing seal, and pulled Basket out of the ditch and carried him over the barbed wire, back to the road.<br/><br/>
At the circle, most of the ratings were negative, blaming the hare for the pandemic and the social restrictions.
The hashit from the previous week, ie JTP, was missing. So it was bestowed to he/she who is willing to sacrifice for the greater good, for the team. Who(m) continues to work without interruption without care for self. For even tho there were numerous sins committed, including the engineering duo who engineered a way out of the ditch for B3; for WIPOS for walking past the beer check a good 45 minutes before returning to it; for Crotchy and PG for incessant frolicking despite the warnings of social distancing; for Just Pat, for...well, er, why not?<br/>
Nope it was awarded to poor ol' Oozing.<br/><br/>
Due to the announcement that there would no longer be a dine-in option, the ONON was cancelled. Rumor has it though that Just Pat stopped by at Laura's and begged them for food and, being nice Rhode Islanders and not MassHoles, obliged him with a meal.

Be safe, and OnOn to social distancing, and seriously, staying home as much as possible.
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<a><image src="http://rih3.com/Images/march9.jpg"> <a/> <br/>
Did the Hashit forget it was suppose to be a green toga Hash? Well, he must have looking at his dress. Only Basket wore his colors well, and PG & Crotchy had kilts.<br/>