Run #1777: The Virgin Hare Virtual Hash #1<br/>
Time: 6:30 pm<br/>
Date: March 30, 2020<br/>
Hare: Cracker Jackoff<br/>
Start: Somewhere in RI, or elsewhere<br/>
Pack: Basket, WIPOS, Amish Ithead, Meat Wallet, OOzing, Ass Quack, Crabby Shag +2, Pussy Galore, Just Pat, Butt Plug, Wee Balls, WHO, O'Bone'r, FloBanger, Pissonya and Fineass Cuntsultant<br/>
Hashit: Basket<br/><br/>
<a><image src="http://rih3.com/Images/cjo.jpg"> <a/> <br/>
We did pretty well the last few weeks with social distancing, but now we are limited to 4 and it just doesn't make sense. Some Hashes have decide to shut down for the duration: Mother (last stopped hashing after the Battle of Singapore in WW2) and Hashes around the world have suspended their trails to combat this nasty little bug, with horns on his head, so we've decided to try this virtual thing and, as it turns out, toss our virgin Hare under the bus in the process. Cracker Jackoff has be doing recce's for the past 2 months and he had a grand trail laid out for us. I hope he remembers that when we get back to normal, if that's possible.<br/><br/>
I pulled into the parking lot and found not one fuckin' bastard there. Login into Marco Polo, a few Hashers were, evidently , already imbibing at home or in some distant location. Pleasantries were made and complaints were already being made by Amish and Just Pat. Amish had Meat Wallet show him how to login and was feeling like her little puppy. Just Pat couldn't log in, as the virus on the Mass border stopped his messages. We only saw one pic of him standing, pathetically, in the rain in front of a trail head, alone.<br/><br/>
As 6:30 neared, more and more Hashers logged into Polo for the inaugural event. OOzing was fading in and out, but seemed somewhat interested. WHO was sitting in front of a fire somewhere in Beverly/Salem and enjoying a Lord Hobo Boomsauce. Just the Tip was full on and itching to start running, as oppose to Rusty, sitting in his garage tying to sell his used fridges. Pathetic! Even Mr R trying to introduce Gracie Basket to the new reality of Hashing, was laying on the floor, in his house, like,"what else is there to do on a Monday?"<br/><br/>
At 6:30 the pack was off like diarrhea. AQ and Crabby had Hutch and Gable at full speed in seconds. Just the Tip was screaming "OnOn" and running at his normal abnormal pace. Rusty pulled a Captains Daughter out of his other fridge, and wished us luck. I proceeded out on trail at a decent pace, not wanting to overtake the front runners and make sure any latecumers would not be lost on trail.<br/><br/>
Right off the bat, I noticed a lack of flour, and thought the virgin hare may be saving it for the long haul. At the first intersection, I was a bit concerned as I had not seen any marks and the trail could have gone in tree directions. The first two proved dead ends, but I recognized the trail heading off towards the Branch River. Water was high in the river and so peaceful, I decided to make it my beer stop. A few songs were attempted after Holeminer's complaint, with father WHO contributing the most deepest baritone he could muster. Since I was feeling a bit lonely, I decided to make it a rolling beer stop back to my car. Just the Tip's antics along trail gave me a few chuckles, as he traversed a Hash bridge and seemed to fall into the water at one point. Watching Amish declare being "On Trail!", and he bounded up a pile of rocks along the shoreline reminded me of his broken ankle on such a wee stone, that he should have been more cautions. He wouldn't want to spend time in the hospital now.<br/><br/> 
As 7:30 neared, I poured a nice Irish Peated Single Malt Connemara, from the Kilbeggan Distillery from Riverstown Co Louth. It is as tasty as any Islay I've had and recommend it highly. O'Bone'r started the circle on Zoom. The cluster-fuck only grew at this point, with total chaos reigning. WHO moderated the mob as O'B silenced us on occasion. Most that were on trail, joined us for the circle in addition to Dog Meat and Anhow's Yer Busch. Ratings were mostly negative, but for a virgin Hare under these circumstances, it WHO decided it would be positive. Overall, I thought the attempt at some normalcy was fantastic, with most participating, even the wee ones on island, made my day. <br/><br/>
Thanks to all, stay healthy, and here's to getting back to normal some day. Cheers!