Run #1814: WIPOS is burping Turkey Hash
Date: Nov 30, 2020
Where: Somewhere in East Bumbuck CT
Hare: WIPOS
Hashers: Basket, Just Pat and a bunch of Wankers on Marco Polo
Hashit: Basket
This is one for the books. WHO knew this trail would suck, so he stayed home. OOzing and Rusty bailed early in the AM, conveniently adhering to the Gov's recommendations of staying the 'f'home. Crabby showed some side-boob and Kinky did not (despite a pathetic attempt by Dr WHO to convince her it was just a medical procedure. OOzing, Rusty, Amish, Donkey and PH were high and dry & AWOL. Crabby, Mr R, Hairy, Cracker and PG made a contribution, but fell short of the mark. All of the above were, by far, smarter than the fools that found their way to the start of the Hash, despite the most pathetic directions...Ever! Even beating Basket's worst directions in "leventy" years or more.
I'd like to say that was the worst of it, but, with the excuse of the heavy rain and wind, the Hare had more than a few excuses to his advantage. At 6:32, the 'pack' took off, and despite waiting for the hoard of Wanker to arrive, the trail was easy to follow. As there were no marks, the Hare said go in that direction, and as pathetic sheep, we did. There were zero marks, so at the first, so called intersection, the Hare said we should look for marks. As there were none, I continued left until the Hare called me back. He had already told Just Pat he was on trail and may (may) find some marks on the right trail. He did not, but I backtracked to the trail and followed as a sheep I should. The whiskey stop was found at the next turn and we enjoyed a blended american whiskey. A Marco Polo was made to share our thrill of not being dead and then moved onward.
The trail led uphill on a leaf-strewn trail and at the next check, according to the Hare because there was no flour. Just Pat looked left as I continued uphill, and uphill, and yet more uphill. At the top of the hill, I continued more uphill until the lack of oxygen and energy allowed Just Pat to overtake me as I lay face forward on the wet leaves. WIPOS followed and stepping on my back, asked if I was okay. We continued uphill until we started back down, before back uphill again.
It was about here that the Hare said we'd missed the right to the beer stop, and we'd either have to miss out on the Captain's Daughter or make our way back to find the bag of beer. Just Pat continued straight, but I turned around and looked for the trail to our left marked by an arrow using sticks. At some point, as I led the wee pack, the Hare said we'd passed it again and we should turn around. We did and it wasn't long before he said we'd passed it again and should turn back....I think we put our food prints on the same fuckin' leaves 5 times and still we persisted, like sheep to a slaughter.
We were looking for a small trail on our right following trail, or on our left if we were back-tracking. At some point, the Hare called me back as he found the trail on a wee path that would eventually bring us to the Beer Stop. This led to a raging torrent. It wasn't much when he laid trail here, but after 5 inches of rain,
PS: this is for Amish, 5 inches is not [___________________] this much.
The Trail to the beer stop went through a Neanderthal archaeological sites that found some interesting objects in them thar woods.
Eventually, as I was leading the 'pack', the Hare called me back to point at a green backpack with beer on the trail I just ran past. Okay, so I missed the green pack in a field of green. Call me stupid...'Stupid!" Just Pat opened the pack for me and I reached for the Captain's Daughter, only to find the Haze Ho. WTF! I must be blind, as Just Pat reached in and grabbed the only CD in the bag.
Two weeks in a row he's grabbed me by the b's. FSFFS!
We did a quick Polo for the dry Wankers at home and were off into the storm before too long. The trail back was soooo much shorter than getting to the BS. We circled up behind WIPOS' car, put my phone on his rear hatch and started comments. Virgin territory, perfect weather, lots of sticks and leaves to mark the trail, was offset by almost zero flour. The Hare used his doppler on the ground before a torrential rain event, even though there were plenty of trees for him to pat a bit so it would have withstood the storm....but I digress! Nonetheless, the rating was a positive something and he had his DD. He sang his version of Johnny Cash's tune "I hear the train a cumin". Hashit was next and I thought it should have gone to WHO for his pathetic groveling to see Kiki's boobs, or any of the other dry Wankers sitting at home. Ass Q looked like a big mattress with Gabel on his chest and Mr. R's with his RIH3 mask under his glasses, while Pik Wrong Guy questioned, "What you doin'? Are you stupid?" Yes, yes he is, but not so bad that he didn't go to the Hash tonight. I think I got it in the end...not the actual end (as in butt) but the final discussion of the HS. With activities completed and nowhere to go after, we three made our way out of the dark lot, in the rain, feeling better for having made it for another week. Driving home, I thought it was nice to see Kiki still remembers her Mother Hash friends. OnOn till next week....we'll see what mis-adventures that will bring.
