Run# 1874 The Explosive Shite Hash<br/>
Date: Jan 24, 2022<br/>
Weather: Cold with still some snow but mostly frozen shite in the forest<br/>
Hounds: Just Pat, OOzing, WIPOS, Pussy Galore and Donkey Punch<br/>
Hare: Hym Wrng Gye <br/>
Hashit: Just Pat<br/><br/>
Just after lunch on Monday, the Hare emailed me for advice on what I use to color the flour on snow. I asked the Hare if we'd need traction on tonight's trail, as I found solid ice earlier in the day along the river dog walk. He didn't reply but I was concerned, so I sent out an APB that said spikes may be needed. I didn't want to listen to OOzing complain again. I guess that cautionary email and the distance gave Rusty second thoughts and he decided to take a pass along with Pubic and Cracker. WHO knows where the other missing Wankers were.<br/><br/>
I arrived early in the lot, by the old rusting water tower. The Hare was parked in the exit on the other side blocking the open gate. As I was putting on my boots, he walked over with a couple beers (?) in hand. It was a lonely spot to be alone with Hym Wrng Gye, standing in the snowy, dark lot with a scary looking water tower looming over us. We were soon joined by WIPOS. The Hare offered us a disgusting Mango White NA beer as we watched Just Pat, OOzing, Donkey and PG pull into the lot. He said he got a great deal on a value pack of mixed beers from his discount liquor store. Luckily for the late arrivals they didn't have to try it.<br/><br/>
The marks were explained virtually, as he didn't have flour in hand, and using his flashlight, he tried to show us the X, Y and Z's of a Mr. R trail. Even though there were no actual marks to see, his explanations were to the few questions from the small group. Donkey asked about check, he said yes, upon further inquiry, checks were 3 lines not circles. He also said there would be a beer stop, marked by a BN and a BH. (Can you guess?) Beer Near and Beer Here. What a waste of flour. He had so much flour that he'd put down 5 or 6 within feet leading up to a check. Not that I'm complaining, as his last 3 trails, combined, had less flour than what he had on this one. Asked about needing spikes on the ice,the Hare said he marked it so we could get around any ice issues on the trail. Not everyone believed him so a few carried their spikes just in case. We were soon out of the paved parking lot, crossing into the woods and immediately found 40 feet of solid ice followed by hollowed-out trails filled with frozen piss. PG and Donkey stopped to put their spikes on and I was now leading the pack on thin ice indeed. It took only 3 checks later that the swift fully-tractions duo passed me by. We worked our way along the thin icy trail until we came out on the power lines. A weird check sent us back into the woods and away from the YMCA and our parking lot. As we neared Grove St again we hit a paved lot that may be the other parking area for Franklin Forest, but it was an ice skating rink. I found flour going uphill and up and up and up until I found the BN and then BH only to see a Donkey in the woods enjoying himself a beer and snacks. The rest of the pack showed up soon, with WIPOS eventually making a show. Very little singing, and the selection of beers was weak. I would imagine there would have been a lot of complaining about the lack of Captain's Daughter had Rusty been there. As it was, Donkey made a single weak comment.<br/>.<br/>
Beers done, we started out back to the power lines and at the next check, our gracious Hare offered a safer route to stay on the PW Lines. Donkey, PG and I chose the trail less traveled and found ice, but not dramatically worse then we had throughout the trail. We all arrived back at the cars about the same time...except WIPOS, of course. We circled up, but the Hare had his Split Pea Soup heating in his truck and started dishing out bowls to all of us as we arrived. We waited for WIPOS while we slurped down the soup, soaking up the last bits with buttered bread. I looked for any bit of ham, that's the way we always made it, but unfortunately I didn't find any.<br/><br/>
With WIPOS aboard, the complaints ran rampant. Ice on trail despite the Hare saying we wouldn't need spikes, shitty beer throughout, total waste of good flour, total waste of our time and almost causing injury to our most valued and oldest Hasher. Despite the negative comments he got a positive .69 and drank for his dessert. HIs song was "Why was he born so beautiful", a DD song after doing his DD??? Where do these guys cum from? With no Backsliders, Visitors or Virgins, last week's Hashit, PG, offered up all those WHO listened to the Hare and did not wear spikes, for their stupidity. Most agreed, even those WHO were included in the bunch, but it fell on Just Pat for going for a tird serving of the soup and interrupting the Circle as his cat set off his door alarm. By now, most of us had uncontrollable farts with pressure building for a possible liquidish expulsion from our butts. We had religion and drove home uncomfortably. The End.<br/><br/>