Basket Tries to Castrate Us All!

Run #544 November 4, 1996

Hare: Basket

By Snot

The venue this week was off route 99 behind the Honda dealership, I would just like to comment that the directions were shit and it is no wonder we only get a few attendees for our runs, the directions were on 146 under 295 under another non existent bridge (were you pissed when you found it Basket?), then take a left on an unmarked road. Your scribe who is a persistent bastard of course took a first left down route 99 totally bloody lost went back to where I started which took 10 minutes because you silly bastards put concrete in the middle of the road and we have to go around in f***** circles to back to where you want to be, no wonder petrol (gas to you uneducated bastards, which is not a liquid anyway) is so cheap.

Finally finding my way around to the back of the Honda garage to find Baskets and Beyond Hope’s wheels, the time was 6.40pm and I followed the marks off down the road on right towards water but no more marks, I thought it was too early for Basket to run out of flour so I back tracked a number of times until I heard the ominous noise of the Rhode Island farting bugle in the distance, if Basket could blow the bloody thing I would have heard it sooner. I decided to hack my way through the thorns towards the sound of on-on, realizing by now that the pack was just ahead, but I was getting more and more into trouble, then a stream which I tried to avoid but realized I would need to get across to reach the pack, in up to my knees in F***** freezing water, it was only around 40 degrees F. Finally I found the rest of the pack which consisted of Hopeless and Basket our hare for this week.

We carried on down a track which I can only say was stumbled through, Basket told us he had his bike with him, Hopeless and I concluded he only had this for his arm exercises as there was no way you could ride through this shit. Plenty of shiggy and a good part of the run was spent ankle deep in water. A unanimous decision was made that flour half way up the tree might be a good idea rather than on leaves on a windy night, “Dickhead”. More fun to be had as we came upon a fence about 8Ft high with ball removers on the top, Basket obviously having had GI Joe training was over pretty quick before we were able to get our hands around his neck, Hopeless was next and managed to get one ball caught on the top, with Basket shouting “let me hold something for you”-pervert, he finally got over, next I was up pretty easily and Hopeless was leaning over checking his clutter which required a torch and magnifying glass, all I can say is I hope Fergie has got small hands. While he was bent over I stood on his back for extra support and the silly bastard moved, I quickly had to get my other leg over before I lost my sack of potatoes, Basket during this near disaster was pissing himself wishing he had brought a camera which would have been shoved somewhere definitely needing a flashlight. Over a main road through another fence and lucky for Basket through a hole in another fence up a hill to a beer stop.

The only good thing about this run was the beer which we drunk by a religious building but we didn’t care as beer is our religion so it was a good stop. Basket screeched a few songs, then it was on back, this part of the run was familiar as I had driven up and down this poxy road looking for the start point. On home pretty straight forward with Basket trying to be clever going through water, but Hopeless and I found a far drier route a few yards away. Circle up, ratings for the run-non ratable which means Basket you need to set another three to make up for it! Hashshit awarded to the person who most deserves it-Basket. Then off for grub at a local greasy Joe’s, at the car park Hopeless rightly pointed out we had forgotten swing low, a second Hashshit award to Basket. This was promptly sung in the car park then on in for a cholesterol buster, the Rhode Island Hash lives on.

Also attached is the City H3 and West London schedules up until February’97 should any of you be in the area, your scribe plus one other a David Lowrie ( a previous visitor to RIH3) turned up in Rhode Island attire to represent you well in London a mere two weeks ago, we came in the top six of a total of twenty runners after a long street Hash around and in the grounds of Alexandria Palace, the Down Down was well managed and nobody fortunately asked me the origin of my handle, the Down Down was one pint of good old English ale which was gone in a flash, and as I was putting my glass down (whilst others were still drinking) it slipped and smashed over the steps of the pub, they all thought that Snot might have Russian connotations, but you could say your scribe made his mark in the London Hash.

On-On Snot

(27th Run in RI)

Return to RIH3 Home page


Last Modified :December 16,1996