Async sets run of the year
Run # 553 January 6, 1997
Hare: Async
by Snot
The venue was Johnston just off route 6, attendees included Async our hare, Hopeless who has gone back to breast feeding to give Fergie some relief, but Fergie tells us he keeps biting her nipples. Congratulations to Fergie, we really didn’t believe Hopeless had it in him-sucking tit that is. If you find you need more sucking power three more volunteers available. Also in attendance was Basket and Sajid a new boot who obviously is still wanting to taste a good beer and yours truly. Incidentally Sajid is a psychiatrist who claims he has never come across such a fine example of cranks to observe, just remember run long enough you will be one also.
The title of run of the year merely is coincidental that it was the first run of the year therefore nothing worse to gauge against. The run started from a pull in and quickly led to woods, as usual your scribe took the wrong turn at the first and following five checks to find myself in the usual position-last. Basket by shear luck took the right path on all but one check and was soon so far ahead that his trusty bugle sounded like a wet fart from a damp paper bag, which is an improvement from last year, keep eating the baked beans Basket. From woods onto an open field which quickly led to the Beer check which at this point was the most exciting part of the run, under a deer stalkers frame in temperatures very close to freezing point which was confirmed when Basket showed up with the bugle stuck to the cheeks of his ars, not enough spit I guess.
After a beer or three the motley crew headed back on the on home which was disgustingly short with a noticeable absence of shiggy. The final 200 meters was a sprint with the human gazelle coming in first and yours truly overtaking a startled Basket to come in silver medal position. A circle up proceeded with comments on the run ranging from crap to OK (new boot). The consensus was minus 2 with the Hashshit award going to Basket who came in third, he would have got it even if he had come earlier which we hear from Dogmeat is generally true. The venue for the on-on was a place called Rustic well off route 44 where the order of the day was hot wings and shepherds pie, the beer at this establishment was a little below par a good description would be water with a sniff of alcohol-piss. A suggestion was made to bring in a bottle or two left over from the circle up to supplement this overpriced water, yours truly volunteered to get the grog and somehow managed to bring in two empties and one full one for which I was duly awarded the Hashshit, what you will never know is did I drink the two bottles before I came in? The attendees will never be sure, but I will accept the Hashshit on this occasion as I guess I should have replaced those bottles which were empty, so did the Snot hoover them back? A dilemma the Rhode Island Hash will have to live with.
On-On
Snot (35th Run in RI)